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Optimistic & Elegant
by
Tiffany Haddish
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INTRO: Ladies and gentlemen! Let her hear it! The one and only black unicorn, Miss Tiffany Haddish! TIFFANY HADDISH: What's up, LA? I'm feeling so good, I'm feeling there's nothing but opportunity in the world right now, 'cuz I'm ovulating and stuff. And I smell good credit in the room. It smells like inheritances and everything, what's up? Yes! I'm feeling super sexy because this background in here is so beautiful. Isn't it beautiful? I feel so cla**y and elegant, I just want to crip walk in this mother. Cla**ier than a motherf*cker. Elegant as sh*t. Sorry, I just really wanted to be ratchet for ten seconds. Feels so good though, I feel like I've come a long way. I love doing these shows. We still call it in the hood, but we're not quite in the hood, we're hood adjacent right now. I love it, I love it, I love it... And I just feel like, you know, now I'm a stand-up comedian. You know, I started out as a model. I was a model, y'all. At the Slauson Swap Meet, I be modeling there. For 15 years I been modeling there, booth L7, like what! I got all the best ratchet poses. 1... Pose 2... Pose 3... That's the one you sending pooky in jail! One hour photo in the swap meet. There's a lot of us in here that took pictures there. Thought you was cute as sh*t, b*tch. I'm finna put this in my binder, b*tch. So everybody can see how cute I was that day, you had a little airbrush background and sh*t. Why every dude wanna show their throat? Can't even see your face, homeboy. We got that throat though. Rockin' that throat.
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