CORRECT LYRICS

Lyrics : Friday Night Pyro (November 6th, 2020) Simon Gotch wrestles a “Bear”

Show: XPWEW Friday Night Pyro


Date: Friday November 6th, 2020


Episode: 451


Channel: VICE Network @ 10 PM Eastern Standard Time / 7 PM Pacific Time


*PYRO Opening Montage*

Fireworks and pyrotechnics flare at the top of the show and for the first time in three weeks we are welcome to the commentary desk by Kaitlyn Khaos who is back from her short hiatus and the legend of commentary himself Nick Simmons. At the top of the show buzzing with excitement they inform us tonight! A blockbuster main event that was just penned in last night by Troy Clausen! Tonight on Friday Night Pyro Champagne Clausen will go 1 on 1 with the XPWEW World Heavyweight Champion! Also tonight; Yes you are not reading this image in error; Last week Drama King Aiden English and The Marauder have declared that Simon Gotch will challenge a Bear tonight! That is right for the first time ever a Bear, a live bear will be competing in a XPWEW ring against the Vaudevillian Strong-Man Simon Gotch!!!...


**Steel Cage lowering music***


Kaitlyn Khaos; and as we learned last week an ultimate challenge was laid! As moments draw near and the Solid Steel Cage lowers from the ceiling! Newcomer the “Afro Punk” Trish Adora is fighting for an XPWEW contract as well as Number One Contendership spot to challenge the XPWEW World Women’s Champion Lotus at the upcoming Battlefield pay-per-view but she will have to defeat the former champ Doxy Deity here tonight and surely the Mexican Wrestling Legend T**o Santana will undoubtedly play a factor at ringside! Can Trisha make a statement inside the steel structure because Nick, we’re going to get that match started right now!


- Trish Adora enters

- Doxy Deity enters with her manager and mentor T**o Santana


Steel Cage Match
> Winner will get XPWEW World Women's T**le match against Lotus (c) at BATTLEFIELD in 2 weeks on pay-per-view (November 22nd)

M1: Trish Adora vs Doxy Deity (w/ T**o Santana)

Match Result: Doxy and Trish both feet land on the ground on opposing sides of the Steel Cage simultaneously, Referee Kevin Madrox holds up Trish Adora's hand in victory, meanwhile on the other side of the ring Referee Sandy Mongeau hoists Doxy Deity's hand in victory declaring that her feet landed first

So after a few awkward moments of utter confusion as to who landed their feet on the ground first, we see XPWEW Executive Producer Kriss Kloss rushes out to ringside as well as Talent Producers Al Snow and Mike Samples join the fray, Agent Mike Samples raises Trish Adora's hand up, Al Snow aggressively shakes his head in disapproval and then Al Snow raises Doxy Deity's hand up as the true winner of this contest, at this point Doxy and Trish start to get in each other's faces barking at how they are the true winners of the match, The screen then displays a cam of both girls landing both feet on the floor and its replayed a few times over until Ultimately Troy Clausen makes his presence known at the ramp.

Troy: We'll it appears that tonight Trish Adora and Doxy Deity have BOTH won tonight's contest! So you know what I'm a fair guy, I've always been a fair guy. In the record books this is simply a cla**ic "Mulligan". It happens..However! I want a definite winner, I need a Number ONE contender, not two gals sharing that t**le, We don't do that here, not tonight! So ladies here is what's gonna happen. You both get a W in the win column, However numbers really don't matter on those rankings let's be honest. It is what it is, gimme a break. However! Next week! We will have a winner, Referee Madrox, Referee Mongeau you can sit out this one, because Next week on Friday Night Pyro it's gonna be a rematch, It's gonna be Doxy vs Trish. But this time I got a referee that's gonna call it right down the middle. This gentleman has 40 years experience of being a referee and he is always been known to quote "Call it down the middle, Daddy". The referee will be Fonzie! Bill Alfonso!!! Good Luck Ladies


"A very clear ripped off version of 'Walk' by Pantera plays to an annoying loud, whistle blares and Bill Alfonso is here, blowing his whistle right in the ear of Troy Clausen

Bill Alfonso: *whistle* Oh you won't regret this daddy, Girls! Bring you gimmicks, because Fonzie always calls it down the middle *whistle* *whistle* *whistle*

Troy Clausen cleary annoyed at Bill Alfonso jumping around at the ramp blowing his whistle like a moron, Trish looks determined and Doxy looks annoyed and p*ssed because in her mind she genuinely thinks she got robbed tonight and shouldn't have to prove herself again next week.


- Briscoe Brothers enter


Tag Team Match
M2: Briscoe Brothers def. Lucky 7 & Jacob "The Man Scout" Manning


Post Match Interview: Larry Legend conducts an interview at ringside moments after Jay & Mark Briscoe just squashed Lucky 7 and Man Scout

Jay: We ain't been here a minute you know what I'm saying. But Dem Boys is hungry, and we finna lick the plate, we finna eat the gizzards in this motherfu**er and leave no leftovers

Mark: Birds of a feather flock together and the By God Briscoes. What kind of bird are you? Vaudevillains are y'all one of them party peac*cks? I got a bird named Robert, that bird got tallends that's about 3 and a half inches long, ain't no joke! Them tallends'll dig into your ...pardon my French A**. This bird got beak that will pierce through bulletproof gla**, this bird at full potential will do anything. Aiden English are you one of them birds that will swoop down on the horizon and grab a baby goat off a mountain side or are you one of them birds that'll tuck their head down and hide when a War Bird swings through, The Briscoes are warbirds, we play for keeps. and for far too long y'all been playing for second best. We want the gold and we will mine and mine all day until we dig em up.

Jay: Heard Simon Gotch is gonna wrestle a bear tonight!

Mark: Grizzly? Brown bear? Polar bear? Panda bear? Momma bear? Daddy bear? Sister bear? Brother bear? Kodiak bear? The Berenstain Bears? The Coca-Cola bear? Winnie The Pooh?

Jay: Who? Man shut up, stop playin'

Jay: Man I don't know, All I know is I don't like to speak ill of the dead but if I was a betting (which I am) So I'm willing to bet, VICE Network should run that match a little behind the LIVE feed if our boy Simon Garfunkel don't make it out alive!

Mark: Good luck Chuck

Jay: His name is Simon....

Mark: Whatever..


- The Set enters the ring (Ruckus, Jordan Oliver Siaka Lexoni, Myron Reed, Kotto Brazil & Chrissy Rivera)

< Jake Awesome is preparing for his match against Joe Gacy later tonight >

Jordan Oliver has an easel chalk board with a sheet over it. Myron and Kotto pull off the sheet, it shows how long Jordan Oliver has been XPWEW Juniorweight Champion. The segment is nothing but a boost of confidence for Jordan, they show other photos of the 3 of them on the easel board, where Kotto shows his highlights beating up Leonard McGraw, Myron shows an image of him beating up Golden Bryce. Jordan shows a photo of him defeating Jacques Dudley at LOCKDOWN 7 last May. At this point the XPWEW Tag Team Champions must've had enough

- XPWEW Tag Team Champions Golden Bryce & Alveno La Flare enter the stage, walk to the ring

Bryce: You 3 have always had sooooo much to say, yet so little to back it up.

Jordan: Bryce, do you own a mirror like (Myron and Kotto laugh)

Myron: Bryce, N***a you lost in Germany, you lost again in Dubai like do you have any self awareness bro what the fu**

Kotto: Especially you Veno. You sold out to The Set when we opened you with arms but instead you chose to be a golden busta.. smh

Bryce: Nice photo..Jacques Dudley is no doubt the best Juniorweight this company has ever had..

Jordan: ANT ANTTT Again with the wrong answer G-Baby I've been the XPWEW Juniorweight Champion for 453 days and counting!!!

Bryce: Last week I looked at the camera and told Jacques Dudley if he was watching to be on Team Bryce at Battlefield...Right now the only team members are myself and my cousin Alveno. But I'll get a team together and The Set will FALL....


- Jake Awesome enters during his entrance he shoulder bumps Golden Bryce and they share this real intense stare down as Bryce and Alveno walk back up the ramp. Once "The Gatekeeper" Jake Awesome hits the ring he gets fists bumps from Jordan, Myron and Kotto who look up to him as a mentor


- Death Machine Joe Gacy enters with his tag team partner Audrey Carbine


1 on 1

XPWEW International Championship T**le Defense

M3: Jake Awesome (c) (w/ Jordan Oliver, Myron Reed, Kotto Brazil & Chrissy Rivera) def. Joe Gacy (w/ Audrey Carbine)


After the match: Ruckus and Siaka come out and congratulate "The Gatekeeper"

Jake: Leonard McGraw you can run on for a long time but sooner or later the Gate keeper is going to come to collect. I want my t**le. You are on borrowed time. Jake Awesome throws the microphone like a football and just throws it as hard as he can and he has enough strength to throw it into the empty stands and it makes such a loud sound when it thuds off the wall. I have never seen anybody just violent slam a microphone like Jake just did here. The Gatekeeper means business as he channels rage quit gamers around the world with that microphone slam


Backstage: Champagne Clausen is lacing his boots, until his old rival Golden Bryce sits down beside him, and the way the camera is filming you only see an Air Jordan shoe and as Champagne sits upright the camera slowly pans upward and we know it is Golden Bryce who has popped a squat next to Champagne in this locker room setting.

Champagne: What do you want?

Bryce: Battlefield is just 2 weeks away and as of right now its just me and my cousin on the team. We're taking on The Set and I'm asking you like a man.....if you will join Team Bryce at Battlefield

Champagne: *exhales* Team Bryce huh..

Bryce: Yep

Champagne: We have history of not liking each other. You know this right?

Bryce: Sure

Champagne: Fair. and You understand that you've burnt just about every bridge here

Bryce < perplexed face? >

Champagne: You grew up looking to Jake Awesome as an idol and now he's handedly beat you 4 times. You've become mortal enemies with him and to be honest you've never beat him. I have tho...but you no. Uh let's see you and The Set are clearly never going to be best friends. If I recall they once beat you down and stole your shoes and Ruckus even beat you in the Lockdown main event. Leonard McGraw is the world champ and he asked a good question, He said "What exactly makes you Golden?" Well right now I ask "Why is it Team Bryce hmmm and you wonder why Alveno was looking suspect"

Bryce: That's not even

Champagne: No no no make it Team Champagne and I'll join

Bryce: deal. Yea

Champagne: I want nothing to do with your little survivor series poop troop bud, alright. I'm Champagne Clausen. I'm a former XPWEW World Champion. and tonight I get to become and 2x XPWEW World Heavyweight Champion. Because in my mind if that dunce All Man hadn't had a magical opportunity last January. I'd still be champion. So no I don't give a damn about Team Bryce. I don't give a damn about you. I'm a singles act. I'm a world champion. Bryce....you're just a tag guy.. < Champagne leaves >

< Bryce starts looking uncertain in himself and he looks at his XPWEW Tag Team Championship and wipes the 'Golden Bryce' nameplate...


+ XPWEW BATTLEFIELD PPV COMMERCIAL


- Priscilla Kelly enters

- Lola starr enters

- Bea Priestley and Jamie Hayter enter together


Tag Team Match

M4: Bea Priestley & Jamie Hayter def. Priscilla Kelly & Lola Starr


Post Match: Jamie and Bea say they aren't here to entertain the XPWEW fans and that they represent STARDOM and they have declared war on the XPWEW Women's Locker Room and announce a 5 on 5 Women's Elimination Match for XPWEW BATTLEFIELD. Bea puts Lola Starr's leg on the steelsteps and Jamie grabs a steel chair about to smash Lola's legs but All Woman is back from a hiatus since Heatwave and she fends off Jamie Hayter and Bea Priestley

All Woman: On behalf of the women in my locker room! We accept!!!!!


- "The Marauder" Simon Gotch enters with Mandy Leon

(The Briscoe Brothers with a big oversized box of popcorn get a seat at front row and say they don't mean any harm they just watch Gotch take on a bear!)

- "The Bear" enters and it is literally just clearly a man in a Bear suit......and Gotch is acting like its a shoot and a real bear, still preparing himself in the ring


< Jay and Mark "The Briscoe Brothers" at ringside start looking disappointed because just like everyone tuning into XPWEW Friday Night Pyro tonight we were thinking Simon Gotch would mean he was going to wrestle a REAL bear tonight but clearly this is a gentleman wearing a Halloween bear costume...


< Kaitlyn Khaos: "Halloween was last week, Simon Gotch is a liar" >

< Nick Simmonds: "Well he did say he was going to wrestle a bear, he did TECHNICALLY follow through on his promise"

< Kaitlyn Khaos: "Simon Gotch is a big fat liar"


1 on 1

M5: Simon Gotch (w/ Mandy Leon) def. "THE BEAR" [Literally Aiden English wearing a Bear costume......]


< Gotch does his Vaudevillian stance taunt and the man wearing a bear suit, collapses to the ground flat on his back. Simon then pins "The Bear" 1-2-3 and just like that in under 10 seconds Simon Gotch just defeated a man in a bear suit. Gotch then flexes. Aiden English to no surprise takes off the bear suit mask and reveals that it was all a work from Gotch and The Vaudevillains tonight to say that technically Gotch can say he wrestled and defeated a bear. >


< The Briscoe Brothers "boo" and throw their popcorn at the ring upset that Gotch wrestling a bear tonight was all a rouse from the beginning. What a joke. >


Jay Briscoe grabs the mic and he and his brother Mark Briscoe step in the ring.

Jay: Simon, I knew you didn't have any balls to get in the ring with a live bear...

Mark: I'll admit guys..you worked us...we didn't see that coming....but we bet..you ain't see this coming.

< Briscoe Brothers both kick Aiden and Simon in the balls and then walk out of the ring >

< Gotch and English gruvel in pain holding their family jewels as Mandy Leon attempts to tend to them but Simon Gotch and Aiden English are irate and it looks like the Briscoes got the better of them tonight >


James Westerbeck who is about to conduct an interview with Masato Tanaka who then is immediately approached by Golden Bryce and Alveno La Flare.


< Bryce asks Masato to join "Team Bryce" and take on The Set in a 5 on 5 elimination match at Battlefield. Tanaka accepts and now Bryce finally has a partner for his team but he still needs 2 more, hopefully he can gather them within the next 2 episodes of Friday Night Pyro if not he will have to forfeit the match at Battlefield


< Tanaka accepts, then Myron Reed walks up with Ruckus, Siaka, Jordan & Kotto. Myron congratulates Tanaka but informs him that they will go 1 on 1 next week on Pyro.... Ruckus blows blunt smoke in Tanaka's face. Coby Caprice steps in and says, watch it pal. Ruckus laughs and pie-faces Coby Caprice. Coby lunges himself at Ruckus and security breaks up the brawl.


- Champagne Clausen enters

- Leonard McGraw enters


1 on 1

XPWEW World Heavyweight Championship Match

M6: Leonard McGraw (c) def. Champagne Clausen (Champagne had his foot on the rope) but the referee didn't notice and Champagne tries to get the call reversed but to no avail...so Leonard just lies in wait and when Champagne turns around after bickering with the ref, "The Outlaw" Leonard McGraw decks Champagne Clausen with the Lariat!!!! Send the show off the air with the fans happy and the World Champ stands tall!

- Leonard McGraw celebrates with his world t**le until the show ends


XPWEW 2020 TM