CORRECT LYRICS
Lyrics : Friday Night Pyro (March 27th, 2020)
Friday Night Pyro Episode #419 March 27th, 2020 Los Angeles, California The Barracks
Show Intro
Commentary: Kaitlyn Khaos & Nick Simmonds
Opening Segment: Champagne Clausen comes down dapperly dressed. Champagne: “It was last January at Guilty as Charged I was in the midst of the most dominant world t**le run in this promotion. And I warned the All Man not to metal in that and what did he do..he did. I told him then that “consequences will never be the same!” And it took this long, whether it was our bean-headed general manger Romeo Roselli who told me I couldn’t challenge for the t**le as long as he was champion well then just like I thought and just like everyone else All Man proved he was indeed “just a TRANSITIONAL champion” and now here we stand. 2 days! 2 days! I get my hands on that rat and I get my hands on that smiling, that fake, that fraud, that snake in sheep’s clothing Golden Bryce. I get my hands on both of them. I don’t gotta pin em, I don’t gotta knock them out, I don’t even have to snap their leg in half. ALL I HAVE TO DO is hit one move. Three times. In the blink of a second, in the pop of a cork I can be world champion again
Freight Train enters Train: “I think you might have a bad memory Curtis cause I remember it was only 6 or 7 days ago in this building you pushed my friend. You hit your daddy. You did a bad thang. Well you know what you might have just p*ssed me of. I took Troy off the medicines and Sunday he’s gonna have a lot to say so you better cover your hind-end or say I’m sorry cause I bet he’s real mad Champagne: Huh...haha Do they call you Freight Train because your the size of a train or do they call you Freight Train because your mind tends to slip off of the tracks. Because NEWS FLASH idiot! He’s a vegetable! He has no memory, no frame of reference since Halloween! Y’know the one with candy! Bring em out! I’m sure he’ll come out here and tell nobody in the crowd that he’s the best, we’ll I’ll say this if he does anything again to impede MY SPOTLIGHT. I’m gonna do more than sedate him. I’ll sedate him permanently and you can whisper that to that human bag of meat. So why don’t you go do that
Freight Train slumps his shoulders and leaves he keeps looking back sadly
Champagne: LEAVE!
All Man, All Woman & Scott Steiner enter
Steiner : Your daddy issues are nobody’s concern your moron. Nobody gives a damn about your carrot cake brain daddy ok all people wanna see is THE POPPA BACK ON PYRO! LOOK AT THE LARGEST ARMS IN THE WORLD
2 weeks ago! I got checked into the hospital and I looked the grim reaper right in his beetie eyes and told him I ain’t leaving until the ALL MAN wins the t**le 2 times! 2 times!
All Man: 2 times! 2 times!
Champagne: that’s cute, I’m looking to do what neither of you have done. Win that t**le a second time myself, All Man really? Let’s recall your t**le reign, you beat me after I had a hard fought match, you beat me with a low battery okay and then you defended it at Flirting With Disaster and Golden Bryce beat you in 8 minutes and let’s see Scott I’ll use your math here.
Steiner: HEY THATS MY GIMMICK! GIVE IT BACK! GIVE IT BACK TO ME!
Golden Bryce enters with the T**LE
Golden Bryce: I feel like I’m watching Step Brothers right now lol both of you sound the same. Complaining. Not doing. I MEAN GUYS! 48 hours! 3 finishers. ZERO FANS! Oh wait sorry Tenille, I respect women!! Scott! glad to see you’ve made a 100% recovery
Steiner: SHUT UP GOLDYLOCKS
Bryce: corpses tries not to laugh
Steiner: Listen up!
All Woman: Scott Steiner!, This Sunday it’s going to be a 3 Way Dance for the XPWEW World T**le at Blitzkrieg between All Man, Champagne Clausen and Golden Bryce! What’s your opinion on the upcoming bout?
Steiner: **You know they say that ALL MEN are created equal but you look at the ALL MAN and you look at Champagne Clausen and you can see that statement is not true. See normally if you go 1 on 1 with the another wrestler you got a 50/50 chance of winning. But All Man is ALL IN and he’s not normal. So you got a 25% chance AT BEST of beating All Man at Blitzkrieg! Then you add GOLDYLOCKS to the mix! Your chances drastic go UP! Because he can’t win a big main event match to save him life and he ain’t even gonna try! See the 3 way at Blitzkrieg. You got a 33 1/3rd chance of winning, but All Man! All Man has got a 66% and 2/3rd’s chance of winning!
Senior Champagne! The numbers don’t lie and they spell disaster for you at Blitzkrieg!
Kaitlyn Khaos: “I’ve just gotten word from General Manger Romeo Roselli that tonight! The world champion Golden Bryce will go 1 on 1 with Champagne Clausen and All Woman will act as the special guest referee. That’s gonna be interesting and that is tonight’s main event!”
<
1 on 1 M1: Doxy Deity defeats All Woman w/ All Man and Scott Steiner @ ringside
Tag Team Match M3: Myron Reed & Kotto Brazil defeat Jacques & Dragon Kid
1 on 1 [XPWEW Juniorweight T**le ON THE LINE] M4: Jordan Oliver defeats Based Fabian
(((Match of the night, total spot fest #Dive)))
Garrett Thompson and Ethan Bedlam enters GT @ McGraw (speaking into camera) “Last week McGraw it was merely a flesh wound! Merely a mercy beating! I could have beaten your bullocks within an inch of your life, but your little wee damsel in the distress saved your backside huh. Ryu come to this ring.
McGraw enters with a neck brace on
Ryu steps in front of him “it’s not worth it, he’s sc*m, he’s sc*m, don’t do this. Not now.” GT and Bedlam wants McGraw with his hand motions just baiting him in to come get this 2 on 1 beatdown < McGraw j*rks the mic out of Ryu “You gotta be the luckiest muffin eating sum b*t*hes I’ve ever seen! Ethan Bedlam get your finger outta Garrett’s a** GT: “Your not funny....Not funny mate” Leonard: Oh that ain’t funny. Not so funny. Well hell son I’m not a modern day Monty Python here sh*t But if this is all comedy, if this sh*t is just a joke to you GT I’d suggest I get your input on this next bit ive been working on! [[[MCGRAW SLOWLY PULLS AWAY THE NECK BRACE REVEALING THAT HE IS NOT INJURED THIS WHOLE TIME] McGraw: Oh well hell it ain’t funny but it damn sure is peculiar. This neck straightening device here don’t mean sh*t to me because damn son I don’t need it I’m not injured I don’t have broken neck, I don’t have a broken b******* or whatever the f**k you said, I don’t have a bedfellow named Ethan and I sure as hell don’t have a fanger stuck up nobody’s a** but what I do have is a challenge I want you in this ring 1 on 1 this Sunday you big b*st*rd GT: Leo, You don’t deserve a match against me you peasant. But I’ll say this. If you can beat...Ethan Bedlam...1 on 1 inside a steel cage this Sunday then you’ll get your match Larry the Cable guy Leonard: So this is how we’re gonna play it? Your gonna put your life partner in harms way like at? I’ll step in a steel cage Sunday but right now I’m just gonna get a piece of your a** first ((Mic slams)) Leonard hits the ring and takes out both Bedlam and GT but GT gets out of dodge by throwing Bedlam in front and Him quickly
LEONARD MCGRAW DECKS ETHAN BEDLAM WITH THE BUCKSHOT AND DAMN NEAR TAKES HIS HEAD OFF!
McGraw in ring flips off GT standing at stage
Dark Side of The Ring commercial airs “The death of the Xtreme Giant” premieres this Tuesday only on VICE
Leonard McGraw and Ryu join commentary Ryu is nice and polite Nick Simmonds: “Leonard why did you pretend you had a neck injury” McGraw: “I got kids to feed man and sometimes it’s a good way to get out of work sh*t! But even I get complacent I wanna get back in there and I’m fixing to beat Ethan Bedlam’s a** in that cage match come Sunday
1 on 1 M5: Genevalisse defeats Lola Starr
Match Announcement!!!
Kiera Hogan will now defend her XPWEW Women’s T**le against Genevalisse this Sunday at Blitzkrieg 2020
Special Guest Referee: All Man & All Woman enter
Champagne Clausen enters
XPWEW World Heavyweight Champion Golden Bryce enters!!!
SpecialGuestReferee: All Woman 1 on 1 M6: Golden Bryce defeats Champagne Clausen
Bryce raises the t**le up high and All Man low blows him and attacks him from behind at the cheering and behest of Scott Steiner who encouraged him to blindside Bryce but Steiner slides in a steel chair All Man sizes up Bryce but Bryce ducks and All Man cracks Champagne over the skull with the steel chair and Bryce stands up in All Man’s face and they press up against each other s foreheads and it’s an epic finish but you can hear Steiner in the background “Hit him! Hit him! Hit him he’s right on ya”
Show ends
Show Intro
Commentary: Kaitlyn Khaos & Nick Simmonds
Opening Segment: Champagne Clausen comes down dapperly dressed. Champagne: “It was last January at Guilty as Charged I was in the midst of the most dominant world t**le run in this promotion. And I warned the All Man not to metal in that and what did he do..he did. I told him then that “consequences will never be the same!” And it took this long, whether it was our bean-headed general manger Romeo Roselli who told me I couldn’t challenge for the t**le as long as he was champion well then just like I thought and just like everyone else All Man proved he was indeed “just a TRANSITIONAL champion” and now here we stand. 2 days! 2 days! I get my hands on that rat and I get my hands on that smiling, that fake, that fraud, that snake in sheep’s clothing Golden Bryce. I get my hands on both of them. I don’t gotta pin em, I don’t gotta knock them out, I don’t even have to snap their leg in half. ALL I HAVE TO DO is hit one move. Three times. In the blink of a second, in the pop of a cork I can be world champion again
Freight Train enters Train: “I think you might have a bad memory Curtis cause I remember it was only 6 or 7 days ago in this building you pushed my friend. You hit your daddy. You did a bad thang. Well you know what you might have just p*ssed me of. I took Troy off the medicines and Sunday he’s gonna have a lot to say so you better cover your hind-end or say I’m sorry cause I bet he’s real mad Champagne: Huh...haha Do they call you Freight Train because your the size of a train or do they call you Freight Train because your mind tends to slip off of the tracks. Because NEWS FLASH idiot! He’s a vegetable! He has no memory, no frame of reference since Halloween! Y’know the one with candy! Bring em out! I’m sure he’ll come out here and tell nobody in the crowd that he’s the best, we’ll I’ll say this if he does anything again to impede MY SPOTLIGHT. I’m gonna do more than sedate him. I’ll sedate him permanently and you can whisper that to that human bag of meat. So why don’t you go do that
Freight Train slumps his shoulders and leaves he keeps looking back sadly
Champagne: LEAVE!
All Man, All Woman & Scott Steiner enter
Steiner : Your daddy issues are nobody’s concern your moron. Nobody gives a damn about your carrot cake brain daddy ok all people wanna see is THE POPPA BACK ON PYRO! LOOK AT THE LARGEST ARMS IN THE WORLD
2 weeks ago! I got checked into the hospital and I looked the grim reaper right in his beetie eyes and told him I ain’t leaving until the ALL MAN wins the t**le 2 times! 2 times!
All Man: 2 times! 2 times!
Champagne: that’s cute, I’m looking to do what neither of you have done. Win that t**le a second time myself, All Man really? Let’s recall your t**le reign, you beat me after I had a hard fought match, you beat me with a low battery okay and then you defended it at Flirting With Disaster and Golden Bryce beat you in 8 minutes and let’s see Scott I’ll use your math here.
Steiner: HEY THATS MY GIMMICK! GIVE IT BACK! GIVE IT BACK TO ME!
Golden Bryce enters with the T**LE
Golden Bryce: I feel like I’m watching Step Brothers right now lol both of you sound the same. Complaining. Not doing. I MEAN GUYS! 48 hours! 3 finishers. ZERO FANS! Oh wait sorry Tenille, I respect women!! Scott! glad to see you’ve made a 100% recovery
Steiner: SHUT UP GOLDYLOCKS
Bryce: corpses tries not to laugh
Steiner: Listen up!
All Woman: Scott Steiner!, This Sunday it’s going to be a 3 Way Dance for the XPWEW World T**le at Blitzkrieg between All Man, Champagne Clausen and Golden Bryce! What’s your opinion on the upcoming bout?
Steiner: **You know they say that ALL MEN are created equal but you look at the ALL MAN and you look at Champagne Clausen and you can see that statement is not true. See normally if you go 1 on 1 with the another wrestler you got a 50/50 chance of winning. But All Man is ALL IN and he’s not normal. So you got a 25% chance AT BEST of beating All Man at Blitzkrieg! Then you add GOLDYLOCKS to the mix! Your chances drastic go UP! Because he can’t win a big main event match to save him life and he ain’t even gonna try! See the 3 way at Blitzkrieg. You got a 33 1/3rd chance of winning, but All Man! All Man has got a 66% and 2/3rd’s chance of winning!
Senior Champagne! The numbers don’t lie and they spell disaster for you at Blitzkrieg!
Kaitlyn Khaos: “I’ve just gotten word from General Manger Romeo Roselli that tonight! The world champion Golden Bryce will go 1 on 1 with Champagne Clausen and All Woman will act as the special guest referee. That’s gonna be interesting and that is tonight’s main event!”
<
1 on 1 M1: Doxy Deity defeats All Woman w/ All Man and Scott Steiner @ ringside
Tag Team Match M3: Myron Reed & Kotto Brazil defeat Jacques & Dragon Kid
1 on 1 [XPWEW Juniorweight T**le ON THE LINE] M4: Jordan Oliver defeats Based Fabian
(((Match of the night, total spot fest #Dive)))
Garrett Thompson and Ethan Bedlam enters GT @ McGraw (speaking into camera) “Last week McGraw it was merely a flesh wound! Merely a mercy beating! I could have beaten your bullocks within an inch of your life, but your little wee damsel in the distress saved your backside huh. Ryu come to this ring.
McGraw enters with a neck brace on
Ryu steps in front of him “it’s not worth it, he’s sc*m, he’s sc*m, don’t do this. Not now.” GT and Bedlam wants McGraw with his hand motions just baiting him in to come get this 2 on 1 beatdown < McGraw j*rks the mic out of Ryu “You gotta be the luckiest muffin eating sum b*t*hes I’ve ever seen! Ethan Bedlam get your finger outta Garrett’s a** GT: “Your not funny....Not funny mate” Leonard: Oh that ain’t funny. Not so funny. Well hell son I’m not a modern day Monty Python here sh*t But if this is all comedy, if this sh*t is just a joke to you GT I’d suggest I get your input on this next bit ive been working on! [[[MCGRAW SLOWLY PULLS AWAY THE NECK BRACE REVEALING THAT HE IS NOT INJURED THIS WHOLE TIME] McGraw: Oh well hell it ain’t funny but it damn sure is peculiar. This neck straightening device here don’t mean sh*t to me because damn son I don’t need it I’m not injured I don’t have broken neck, I don’t have a broken b******* or whatever the f**k you said, I don’t have a bedfellow named Ethan and I sure as hell don’t have a fanger stuck up nobody’s a** but what I do have is a challenge I want you in this ring 1 on 1 this Sunday you big b*st*rd GT: Leo, You don’t deserve a match against me you peasant. But I’ll say this. If you can beat...Ethan Bedlam...1 on 1 inside a steel cage this Sunday then you’ll get your match Larry the Cable guy Leonard: So this is how we’re gonna play it? Your gonna put your life partner in harms way like at? I’ll step in a steel cage Sunday but right now I’m just gonna get a piece of your a** first ((Mic slams)) Leonard hits the ring and takes out both Bedlam and GT but GT gets out of dodge by throwing Bedlam in front and Him quickly
LEONARD MCGRAW DECKS ETHAN BEDLAM WITH THE BUCKSHOT AND DAMN NEAR TAKES HIS HEAD OFF!
McGraw in ring flips off GT standing at stage
Dark Side of The Ring commercial airs “The death of the Xtreme Giant” premieres this Tuesday only on VICE
Leonard McGraw and Ryu join commentary Ryu is nice and polite Nick Simmonds: “Leonard why did you pretend you had a neck injury” McGraw: “I got kids to feed man and sometimes it’s a good way to get out of work sh*t! But even I get complacent I wanna get back in there and I’m fixing to beat Ethan Bedlam’s a** in that cage match come Sunday
1 on 1 M5: Genevalisse defeats Lola Starr
Match Announcement!!!
Kiera Hogan will now defend her XPWEW Women’s T**le against Genevalisse this Sunday at Blitzkrieg 2020
Special Guest Referee: All Man & All Woman enter
Champagne Clausen enters
XPWEW World Heavyweight Champion Golden Bryce enters!!!
SpecialGuestReferee: All Woman 1 on 1 M6: Golden Bryce defeats Champagne Clausen
Bryce raises the t**le up high and All Man low blows him and attacks him from behind at the cheering and behest of Scott Steiner who encouraged him to blindside Bryce but Steiner slides in a steel chair All Man sizes up Bryce but Bryce ducks and All Man cracks Champagne over the skull with the steel chair and Bryce stands up in All Man’s face and they press up against each other s foreheads and it’s an epic finish but you can hear Steiner in the background “Hit him! Hit him! Hit him he’s right on ya”
Show ends
