CORRECT LYRICS
Lyrics : Friday Night Pyro (December 25th, 2020)
Date: Friday December 25th, 2020
Location: Los Angeles, CA in The Barracks
Episode: 458
Channel: VICE Network @ 10PM EST / 7PM Pacific Time
*Pyro Opening Theme*
Opening Segment: XPWEW World Heavyweight Champion Leonard McGraw enters the ring with his old tag team partner Dragon Kid, a video package airs from last week's episode of Pyro where these two buried the hatchet from the "misunderstanding" earlier in the year. In ring, Dragon Kid congratulatеs Leonard McGraw in the ring, Dragon Kid asks for a beer and then onе for McGraw, McGraw corpses trying not to crack a smile and maintain his serious character. Dragon Kis gets two alcoholic beverages thrown to him from an attendee at ringside. Dragon Kid raises a toast for Leonard capturing 3 Xtremey Awards last week and last Sunday retaining his World T**le at FATALITY against The Set's Myron Reed. Leonard thanks Dragon Kid and says "well damn kid, welcome back home" (feel good moment)
Leonard: Hell, I know I don't seem like a real sentimental guy but Damn kid I just had to get you a Christmas present. (Leonard grabs Christmas present)
(Dragon Kid opens the Christmas gift to reveal a gift box full of Grizzly wintergreen Tobacco Dip Cans)
Dragon Kid: "I have gift too!" (Dragon Kid pulls out a crown royal like pouch)
Leonard: "Well I guess it ain't Crown huh.. (Leonard opens pouch to reveal his old USA mask he wore while being a team with Dragon Kid) (feel good moment)
- The Vaudevillains enters with Mandy Leon
Simon Gotch: Dragon Kid, Kid? Aren't you like 40 years of age? Leonardo you appear quite older despite being addressed as that of a young brute with your smokeless tobacco cans
Aiden English: Smokeless Tobacco is deadly and leads to GUM DISEASE!!!!! (acapella)
Leonard: Why don't you two time-traveling sum b*t*hes get in this ring, wipe your little boots off and come get a couple of cans of whoop a**
Dragon Kid & Leonard McGraw start pelting The Vaudevillains with all the cans of Grizzly tobacco that Leonard just gifted Dragon Kid for Christmas
Simon: STOP! STOP I SAY!!!!!!
ad: XPWEW Guilty As Charged | January 31st, 2021
Tag Team Match
M1: Leonard McGraw & Dragon Kid def. The Vaudevillains (w/ Mandy Leon)
Backstage: Larry Legend is joined by The Set here is Jordan Oliver, Kotto Brazil and in the back is Jake Awesome standing ominous over a Myron Reed hunched over still reeling over his loss last Sunday on pay-per-view to Leonard McGraw.
Jordan Oliver: "Masato Tanaka Sunday you needed 3 scrubs to help peel your old a** off the mat, Tonight The Set will make sure you are buried underneath it, because On God, on the Gang and on The Set, all because I'm young, I'm dumb and I'm fu**in OVER it Jordan leaves, Kotto follows, then Myron and Jake lul behind slowly
- Masato Tanaka enters on commentary Kaitlyn Khaos and Nick Simmonds put over how despite his loss at Fatality last Sunday night, Masato Tanaka showed tremendous heart and tenacity in that he was pushed to his absolute limit until he gave it
- XPWEW Juniorweight Champion Jordan Oliver
1 on 1
Non-T**le Match
M2: Masato Tanaka def. Jordan Oliver (c)
After the match: Tanaka looked so hurt but he somehow squirmed out a close victory over the XPWEW Juniorweight Champion in a non t**le match. Masato Tanaka is bracing himself for a beatdown from The Set who appear at ringside. (Jake, Kotto, Myron, Siaka, Ruckus & Chrissy Rivera)
- On the mic Jordan Oliver exclaims "Why is it when you lose you get a standing ovation, but when I lose silence. Silence from everyone. Jordan Oliver starts screaming and cutting a promo on the entire promotion until an angry Jake Awesome shouts and Jordan shuts down and hushes quickly!
Jake: Shut up!
Masato: You shut up.... (Jake pauses and stares a hole through Masato)
Masato: Jake, who are you? I have absolutely no idea who you are anymore? Who is this guy? This isn't Jake Alfonso. This isn't Jake Awesome.
(Jake continues to stare down Tanaka)
Masato: I don't see a 11x XPWEW world champion in front of me, I don't see the best wrestler in the history of this company. I just see a coward
Jake: Did you call me a coward (smirks)
Masato: I called you a 7 foot coward who forgot who he is. You walk alone, 2007 the powers that be tried to make Jeff Jones your manager because they felt you needed a mouthpiece, and I told them No! I told them you didn't need anybody to speak for you or with you. Now I look at you now, with these failed performance center students. These rookies, These green marks. and in 2008 the powers that be, You know what they said about you? He's too green, He's too young, He's not ready. and I told them you were ready. But if this is what you've become after all that success. I guess you buckled under the pressure or either you realized you aren't as good as you thought you were.....
(Jake Awesome balls up his fist and he is veiny about to explode staring at Tanaka)
(Kotto Brazil, Jordan Oliver & Chrissy Rivera grab Tanaka in a position so that Jake can punch him)
(Jake looks at The Set and shakes his head "no) then suddenly Myron Reed bicycle kicks Masato Tanaka and lays him out on the mat, Jake turns and shoves Myron Reed to the mat, Myron looks shocked, Tanaka lying flat on his back stares up at Jake and Jake Awesome just exits the ring by himself leaving The Set behind. The Set helps Myron up to his feet as they are all shocked that Jake would shove him. In Myron's mind he was just defending his mentor against Tanaka's words
Backstage: Santa Claus Romeo Roselli is with his elf Tenille Dashwood and they are drinking a bottle of champagne and he shows her some of the lingerie that he gifted her for Christmas and Tenille says that she could try those on for him and he could give her his professional fashionista opinion on them
3 on 3 'Trios' Match
M2: Briscoe Brothers & Lotus def. Death Machines Joe Gacy & Audrey Carbine with Doxy Deity (w/ T**o Santana)
After the match: (On the ramp) Santa Romeo & Tenille Dashwood offer the Briscoe Brothers some tall gla**es of eggnog after the match and they both chug them
Romeo: I have been bestowed the privilege tonight to announce that there will be a special contract on a pole match here tonight
Tenille Dashwood: Please welcome former recruit of the Awesome Bomb Academy "Coby Caprice"
- Coby Caprice enters
Romeo: Now I am Santa Romeo because me and Tenille love this holiday known around the world as Christmas. However, we are aware on behalf of XPWEW that not all our viewers are of the same faith and tradition
Tenille Dashwood: So we have the honor tonight to announce to our Judaic fans of XPWEW. The next compet**or of this "contract on a pole" match ladies and gentlemen The Mighty Maccabee
Contract on a Pole match
M3: "The Mighty Maccabee" def. Coby Caprice relatively quickly (without 1 bump from The Mighty Maccabee)
After the match: Santa Romeo Roselli and Tenille Dashwood offer The Mighty Maccabee a christmas gingerbread cookie to which The Mighty Maccabee responds "I'm jewish" - The Mighty Maccabee unmasks and is revealed to be Champagne Clausen
(Troy Clausen is in his office watching the monitor as the son he FIRED just 2 weeks ago on Pyro has found a way back into XPWEW, meanwhile in his office sits The Set's Ruckus and Siaka Lexoni)
Siaka "What's a Maccabee?"
Ruckus: "We want a rematch against 3M3"
Troy Clausen "(still in shock watching monitor at The Mighty Maccabee being Champagne in a mask) Yes that was a fluke win by them, Damn 3M first they ruin our country's masks then they wanna ruin our tag team division. - Ruckus and Lexoni exit with a purpose in their body language
Troy (says to himself) "I was really wanting to meet the real Mighty Maccabee..."
Backstage: Santa Romeo and Tenille are telling a Christmas story and as they close the book on that story, Romeo mentions they just coincidentally happen to be under a mistletoe. Romeo says "Well I'm not one to go against tradition" (Tenille smiles happily anxious)
(Tenille Dashwood kisses Romeo Roselli on the cheek) while they just "so happened" to be under a Christmas mistletoe
Romeo: All Man!!! I know you are watching! We miss you! Get well soon!!!!
- XPWEW Tag Team Champions Golden Bryce & Alveno La Flare enter
- Golden Bryce joins commentary and plugs how much money he raised on his Christmas Eve twitch stream for his charity
Singles Match
M4: Alveno La Flare def. GG
After the match: Golden Bryce congratulates 3M3 on their win last week on Pyro. Don't let 2 setbacks set you back, trust me I know that scenario
- Ruckus and Siaka Lexoni enter
(Golden Bryce & Alveno La Flare join commentary with Kaitlyn and Nick)
- 3M Ultra & M3 Quintillo enter
Main Event
Tag Team Match
M5: 3M3 def. Siaka Lexoni & Ruckus AGAIN!!!!!! ANOTHER UPSET!!!!!! "The Miracle on 3M3 Street" "What a holiday miracle" Show ends with an upset victory!
XPWEW 2020 TM
Location: Los Angeles, CA in The Barracks
Episode: 458
Channel: VICE Network @ 10PM EST / 7PM Pacific Time
*Pyro Opening Theme*
Opening Segment: XPWEW World Heavyweight Champion Leonard McGraw enters the ring with his old tag team partner Dragon Kid, a video package airs from last week's episode of Pyro where these two buried the hatchet from the "misunderstanding" earlier in the year. In ring, Dragon Kid congratulatеs Leonard McGraw in the ring, Dragon Kid asks for a beer and then onе for McGraw, McGraw corpses trying not to crack a smile and maintain his serious character. Dragon Kis gets two alcoholic beverages thrown to him from an attendee at ringside. Dragon Kid raises a toast for Leonard capturing 3 Xtremey Awards last week and last Sunday retaining his World T**le at FATALITY against The Set's Myron Reed. Leonard thanks Dragon Kid and says "well damn kid, welcome back home" (feel good moment)
Leonard: Hell, I know I don't seem like a real sentimental guy but Damn kid I just had to get you a Christmas present. (Leonard grabs Christmas present)
(Dragon Kid opens the Christmas gift to reveal a gift box full of Grizzly wintergreen Tobacco Dip Cans)
Dragon Kid: "I have gift too!" (Dragon Kid pulls out a crown royal like pouch)
Leonard: "Well I guess it ain't Crown huh.. (Leonard opens pouch to reveal his old USA mask he wore while being a team with Dragon Kid) (feel good moment)
- The Vaudevillains enters with Mandy Leon
Simon Gotch: Dragon Kid, Kid? Aren't you like 40 years of age? Leonardo you appear quite older despite being addressed as that of a young brute with your smokeless tobacco cans
Aiden English: Smokeless Tobacco is deadly and leads to GUM DISEASE!!!!! (acapella)
Leonard: Why don't you two time-traveling sum b*t*hes get in this ring, wipe your little boots off and come get a couple of cans of whoop a**
Dragon Kid & Leonard McGraw start pelting The Vaudevillains with all the cans of Grizzly tobacco that Leonard just gifted Dragon Kid for Christmas
Simon: STOP! STOP I SAY!!!!!!
ad: XPWEW Guilty As Charged | January 31st, 2021
Tag Team Match
M1: Leonard McGraw & Dragon Kid def. The Vaudevillains (w/ Mandy Leon)
Backstage: Larry Legend is joined by The Set here is Jordan Oliver, Kotto Brazil and in the back is Jake Awesome standing ominous over a Myron Reed hunched over still reeling over his loss last Sunday on pay-per-view to Leonard McGraw.
Jordan Oliver: "Masato Tanaka Sunday you needed 3 scrubs to help peel your old a** off the mat, Tonight The Set will make sure you are buried underneath it, because On God, on the Gang and on The Set, all because I'm young, I'm dumb and I'm fu**in OVER it Jordan leaves, Kotto follows, then Myron and Jake lul behind slowly
- Masato Tanaka enters on commentary Kaitlyn Khaos and Nick Simmonds put over how despite his loss at Fatality last Sunday night, Masato Tanaka showed tremendous heart and tenacity in that he was pushed to his absolute limit until he gave it
- XPWEW Juniorweight Champion Jordan Oliver
1 on 1
Non-T**le Match
M2: Masato Tanaka def. Jordan Oliver (c)
After the match: Tanaka looked so hurt but he somehow squirmed out a close victory over the XPWEW Juniorweight Champion in a non t**le match. Masato Tanaka is bracing himself for a beatdown from The Set who appear at ringside. (Jake, Kotto, Myron, Siaka, Ruckus & Chrissy Rivera)
- On the mic Jordan Oliver exclaims "Why is it when you lose you get a standing ovation, but when I lose silence. Silence from everyone. Jordan Oliver starts screaming and cutting a promo on the entire promotion until an angry Jake Awesome shouts and Jordan shuts down and hushes quickly!
Jake: Shut up!
Masato: You shut up.... (Jake pauses and stares a hole through Masato)
Masato: Jake, who are you? I have absolutely no idea who you are anymore? Who is this guy? This isn't Jake Alfonso. This isn't Jake Awesome.
(Jake continues to stare down Tanaka)
Masato: I don't see a 11x XPWEW world champion in front of me, I don't see the best wrestler in the history of this company. I just see a coward
Jake: Did you call me a coward (smirks)
Masato: I called you a 7 foot coward who forgot who he is. You walk alone, 2007 the powers that be tried to make Jeff Jones your manager because they felt you needed a mouthpiece, and I told them No! I told them you didn't need anybody to speak for you or with you. Now I look at you now, with these failed performance center students. These rookies, These green marks. and in 2008 the powers that be, You know what they said about you? He's too green, He's too young, He's not ready. and I told them you were ready. But if this is what you've become after all that success. I guess you buckled under the pressure or either you realized you aren't as good as you thought you were.....
(Jake Awesome balls up his fist and he is veiny about to explode staring at Tanaka)
(Kotto Brazil, Jordan Oliver & Chrissy Rivera grab Tanaka in a position so that Jake can punch him)
(Jake looks at The Set and shakes his head "no) then suddenly Myron Reed bicycle kicks Masato Tanaka and lays him out on the mat, Jake turns and shoves Myron Reed to the mat, Myron looks shocked, Tanaka lying flat on his back stares up at Jake and Jake Awesome just exits the ring by himself leaving The Set behind. The Set helps Myron up to his feet as they are all shocked that Jake would shove him. In Myron's mind he was just defending his mentor against Tanaka's words
Backstage: Santa Claus Romeo Roselli is with his elf Tenille Dashwood and they are drinking a bottle of champagne and he shows her some of the lingerie that he gifted her for Christmas and Tenille says that she could try those on for him and he could give her his professional fashionista opinion on them
3 on 3 'Trios' Match
M2: Briscoe Brothers & Lotus def. Death Machines Joe Gacy & Audrey Carbine with Doxy Deity (w/ T**o Santana)
After the match: (On the ramp) Santa Romeo & Tenille Dashwood offer the Briscoe Brothers some tall gla**es of eggnog after the match and they both chug them
Romeo: I have been bestowed the privilege tonight to announce that there will be a special contract on a pole match here tonight
Tenille Dashwood: Please welcome former recruit of the Awesome Bomb Academy "Coby Caprice"
- Coby Caprice enters
Romeo: Now I am Santa Romeo because me and Tenille love this holiday known around the world as Christmas. However, we are aware on behalf of XPWEW that not all our viewers are of the same faith and tradition
Tenille Dashwood: So we have the honor tonight to announce to our Judaic fans of XPWEW. The next compet**or of this "contract on a pole" match ladies and gentlemen The Mighty Maccabee
Contract on a Pole match
M3: "The Mighty Maccabee" def. Coby Caprice relatively quickly (without 1 bump from The Mighty Maccabee)
After the match: Santa Romeo Roselli and Tenille Dashwood offer The Mighty Maccabee a christmas gingerbread cookie to which The Mighty Maccabee responds "I'm jewish" - The Mighty Maccabee unmasks and is revealed to be Champagne Clausen
(Troy Clausen is in his office watching the monitor as the son he FIRED just 2 weeks ago on Pyro has found a way back into XPWEW, meanwhile in his office sits The Set's Ruckus and Siaka Lexoni)
Siaka "What's a Maccabee?"
Ruckus: "We want a rematch against 3M3"
Troy Clausen "(still in shock watching monitor at The Mighty Maccabee being Champagne in a mask) Yes that was a fluke win by them, Damn 3M first they ruin our country's masks then they wanna ruin our tag team division. - Ruckus and Lexoni exit with a purpose in their body language
Troy (says to himself) "I was really wanting to meet the real Mighty Maccabee..."
Backstage: Santa Romeo and Tenille are telling a Christmas story and as they close the book on that story, Romeo mentions they just coincidentally happen to be under a mistletoe. Romeo says "Well I'm not one to go against tradition" (Tenille smiles happily anxious)
(Tenille Dashwood kisses Romeo Roselli on the cheek) while they just "so happened" to be under a Christmas mistletoe
Romeo: All Man!!! I know you are watching! We miss you! Get well soon!!!!
- XPWEW Tag Team Champions Golden Bryce & Alveno La Flare enter
- Golden Bryce joins commentary and plugs how much money he raised on his Christmas Eve twitch stream for his charity
Singles Match
M4: Alveno La Flare def. GG
After the match: Golden Bryce congratulates 3M3 on their win last week on Pyro. Don't let 2 setbacks set you back, trust me I know that scenario
- Ruckus and Siaka Lexoni enter
(Golden Bryce & Alveno La Flare join commentary with Kaitlyn and Nick)
- 3M Ultra & M3 Quintillo enter
Main Event
Tag Team Match
M5: 3M3 def. Siaka Lexoni & Ruckus AGAIN!!!!!! ANOTHER UPSET!!!!!! "The Miracle on 3M3 Street" "What a holiday miracle" Show ends with an upset victory!
XPWEW 2020 TM
