CORRECT LYRICS
Lyrics : Friday Night Pyro (August 24th, 2018)
Friday Night Pyro
August 24th, 2018
Irvine, California @ The UCI Colosseum
Match Card:
M1: Eddie Edwards def. Robbie Williams (No Limit First Round)
M2: Golden Bryce def. Vinny Testaverde (Golden Bryce debut)
M3: Slayer def. Awesome (Guest Ref: Marc Snow & Mick Foley)
M4: The McGraws def. Mondo Milk ENT
M5: Tanahashi def. Kota Ibushi
M6: Jaques Dudley def. Chris Johnson & Champagne Clausen
M7: Romeo Roselli def. GG (camerman) after time expires
M8: The Truth Infantry (Edwards, Croyle & Blackman) w/ Will Olaffub def. TakaNaka, Pac, Rey Mysterio & Ruckus
Detailed Events:
No Limits Championship Tournament Quarter-Final Match
M1: Eddie Edwards w/ Will Olaffub, Steve Blackman & Croyle def. Robbie Williams via submission
*Robbie Williams slow to get up gets medical treatment and has his arm in a sling and as he is getting carted to the back. Steve Blackman grabs Robbie and destroys him in quick fashion, soon Croyle and Edwards even get some cheap shots in and Edwards re-applies his finishing submission hold Crossface as paramedics pull him off
*Troy Clausen with Joel Gertner comes out during the mugging of Robbie and he screams at The Truth Infantry “What are you doing?, Olaffub orders Edwards to stop as The Truth Infantry slowly walk past Clausen with their arms up as if to say they aren’t guilty of attacking a defenseless hurt wrestler. Robbie doesn’t look good.
Troy: (up to Ollafub and Infantry on top of ramp) If you guys all wanna get physical tonight, Well then you got it! 6 man tag match, Truth Infantry versus Ruckus, Pac & Rey Mysterio later tonight.
Olaffub: (answering confidently as the infantry smiles deviantly) Not a problem, as a matter of fact Troy why a 6 man tag, How about 2 on say…..5
Troy: Alright, if you jagaloons got a death wish then fine. 5 is what you want, 5 is what you are gonna get, Ruckus, Pac & Mysterio. Now you got all of them plus, 2. The 2 being men who happen to be the greatest tag team in this industry, Taka Naka on top of that! Good luck
Blackman grabs mic from Olaffub:
Troy, you are gonna look stupid at the end of the night. I guarantee it.
M2: Golden Bryce def. Vinny Testaverde
Bryce wins in dominant fashion
Human Resources Help!!!!!
*Mick Foley comes out to the ring then brings out Jake Awesome and says he has to be motivated and that one loss and one occurence of him tapping out doesn't mean the world is over
*Jake Awesome responds almost confused as to why Mick has brought him here and gurantees yes indeed, he tapped out at heatwave but if given the chance to take on Slayer again. He wouldn't do it again. Jake thanks Mick for his help and Mick Foley responds claiming
"I AM THE #1 JAKE AWESOME FAN!"
*Slayer with Marc Snow comes out at the end. Fine Speech Mick, Jake Awesome to these people will always be the hero. Jake Awesome will always be the champion. Regardless, of who is holding it. and here we are show #2 of the “spark is back” but where exactly is the t**le.
He was the last champion, I made him tap even with a biased officiator. I deserve gold.
Mick: Slayer, Mr. Clausen has informed me not to spill this news but I thank the fans RIGHT HERE in Irvine, California (cheap pop) need to know this information. The new XPWEW world heavyweight champion will be crowned at Anarchy Rulz. Next week, more details will be revealed
Marc Snow: interrupts, Mick! more details revealed my son should have the belt! Where is it! Where is the belt! My son should have it.
Mick: Marc I don’t think we’ve formally met, I do know about the urban legend. The urban legend that this crowd is chanting. Your independent persona of Nick Foley, in the 90’s where you sold counterfeit 8 x 10’s claiming you were me. I don’t hold any grudges against you I get it. You gotta put ice cream in the freezer. I know the stories. but Marc, one thing I won’t tolerate from you is the sa** leaking from your quivering lip.
Marc: Mick
Mick: No, No for 20 years I tolerated you profiting from MY NAME, MY LEGACY, watching you maintain a living pretending to be me! A cheap version of mick foley, So how dare you call me biased. Maybe I’m taking this a little too far na maybe I’m letting my 20 years of aggression against you leak out in this trivial argument: No, don’t bow up at me it’s trivial. You still won the match. You still beat the mammoth. but how dare Marc Snow call me biased. A man who held a bias against his youngest son, a bias for your entire life (pointing at Slayer). I do’t know how you can just apologize with this snake. Marc I don’t even wanna see your face. You can call me bias, but you can’t call me an abusive father. You can’t call me a bias parent and you damn sure can’t teach me a damn thing about being without morals. I broke my body in half on every continent to provide for my family, not take all the loot and leave them for dead and then come back to my sons life twenty years later asking for a handout. I’ve lost respect for you Slayer, so yeah I had a bias against a guy that can make amends with this liar.
Marc: Mick, I’m in a decent mood tonight and I’m trying so desperately not to punch you in your fat bearded face but what the hell
*Jake Awesome slaps Marc Snow down to the ground and then attacks Slayer repet**ively.
(Slayer and Marc Snow powder out of the ring.)
*Mick: Marc, I know you’ve spilt blood. but I know you haven’t spilled as much as me but tonight. I’m gonna put the Zebra stripes back on (pulls off Red flannel to unveil Zebra flannel)
Heatwave rematch tonight! Slayer vs Jake Awesome
Mick: And Marc Snow, to a**ure you and your baby boy aren’t a victim of bad officiating. You can wear the stripes too. Jake Awesome will NOT lose again.
Slayer: I don’t wanna wait let’s do this right now
*Guest Referees: Mick Foley & Marc Snow
M3: Slayer def. Jake Awesome
so much interaction between Snow and Foley, Slayer mouths a lot to Foley throughout
Slayer def. Jake via submission yet again. Awesome taps and Foley doesn’t know how to react as he hesitates yet still raises Slayer’s hand in victory
Mick: Jake, even Michael Jordan missed a few shots, even Tom Brady lost a super bowl, Jake Awesome, I still think you are the best professional wrestler this industry has ever seen. Jake barely acknowledges Mick and just walks to the curtain looking at the ground.
M4: The McGraws def. Mondo Milk ENT
*The McGraws run down the crowd praising Alex Jones to be their manager. The McGraws now dub themselves. 1776. Ma**ive heat basically white heat from their post match promo about Obama being born in Kenya
M5: Tanahashi def. Kota Ibushi with a knee to Kota mid-air going for his shooting star press. Tanahshi sneaks the win.
*Interview: Kandi Khaos speaks with Jaques Dudley tonight on his match with Chris Johnson and Champagne Clausen and where does he stand with Troy Clausen.
*Jaques says Clausen claims he’s changed, I’ll guess we’ll see
M6: Jaques def. Chris Johnson & Champagne Clausen in a three way dance
Jaques pins Johnson
Troy Clausen and Joel Gertner come out clapping his hands. Jaques that was an impressive victory. What everyone here didn’t realize is what you guys just watched was a number #1 contenders match for the heavyweight t**le. Congrats Jaques *Clausen winks*
Jaques nods unaware if he should believe Troy or not
*Backstage: Clausen walking back behind the curtain to a sweaty Slayer and Marc Snow in his hippie tye die referee shirt. What the f**k was that Clausen?
Troy: What?
Slayer: So Jaques beat your rookie son and that human sc*m Chris Johnson and he’s in the damn t**le chase
Troy: Yeah, do you watch the show, thats what I just said. and I’m the boss and well your not.
*Marc Snow grabs Gertner’s neck brace tightly choking him
*Slayer gets up in Troy Clausen’s face
Slayer: I don’t care if your the damn second coming. I want my t**le. I wanna know why I made the previous world champion. Tap out, TWICE. and I’M not the #1 contender
Clausen: Fine, Slayer you are now the #2 contender. Happy? Now if you don’t mind. I’d suggest Colgate, Crest maybe.
Clausen walks away
Joel Gertner holding his throat coughing
*The Truth Infantry backstage are talking to referee Danny Coleman. Ollafub is up front showing him some papers backstage. Blackman and Croyle shew away our cameraman recording their locker room
In ring: Romeo Roselli: this is the heavens crown championship. Last Sunday at Heatwave I announced that I will be holding the 7 minutes in Heaven Challenge so who wants to be the lucky first challenger
*A camera man gives his camera to another staff member and takes off all his wires and hops in the ring, telling Romeo to bring it
*Crowd is really into it*
Romeo looking around confused. Are you a camera man? You want to be the first challenger?
What is your name: My name is GG and I’ve been a camera man for XPW since this company started
M7: Romeo Roselli def. GG after the seven minute time limit expires but GG was actually in control of the match at the end of the time limit. Crowd chants GG! GG! GG!
Romeo attacks him with a fluorescent light tube in the crowd and scars his head in the audience stands
Romeo: you will not embarra** me
(Romeo throws GG into a trash can and pushes it down the stadium stairs
Romeo: you will not make a mockery of me
(Romeo grabs his t**le and walks to the back)
Video Package: Joe Gacy & Kirby Lee Covington
(small boy on a playground swinging on swing set)
We are a disease
Plagueground is coming
M8: The Truth Infantry w/ Olaffub def. TakaNaka, Rey Mysterio, Pac, and Ruckus
high spot of the match takes place when Rey Mysterio pins Croyle for a 3 count, Ruckus pins Blackman for a 3 and Taka pins Edwards for a 3 and Danny just gives them a weird look
(commentary is confused, the crowd is confused chanting you f**ked up, bullsh*t)
eventually Troy Clausen and Joel Gertner run on down, Troy calls for Danny. Olaffub eavesdrops over smiling. Danny audibly says “I’m just doing my job, doing what I’m told”. The match still awkwrdly going on at this point. Blackman rolls up Tanaka and Danny counts the 1-2-3
Clausen is like what now that 3 count applies
*bell rings
and your winner: The Truth Infantry
(crowd is confused)
Truth Infantry powders up the ramp with Olaffub jumping up and down for joy, so much in fact his pony tail comes undone.
Troy: Referee Danny Coleman should not be judged for his officiating. Unlike Mick Foley he’s not a biased ref. You see this is the reaction we all wanted. I thought maybe Heatwave would be when the world would find out The Truth!!!
Clausen and the opponents in the ring stare intently
Olaffub: When XPWEW reformed. I went through these re-sign contracts of all my clients in deep deep detail. I noticed so many loose loop holes here and I made a few minor changes. I thought you were a legal Troy Clausen, I guess not haha
I read the trades :)
I adjusted the contracts of Blackman, Croyle and Eddie Edwards. That’s right
I skewed just one little thing. These contracts were so loose honestly it may have took….5 minutes hahahaha
(Infantry laughs in unison)
My clients don’t apply to the referees count of 3. In the contracts of my clients. It says clearly and Troy you signed off on all of these. Hell, I don’t even think you read them. I probably could have gotten away with putting a little more zeros on the salaries. Honestly. Troy you are a joke. A negotiating failure. A jagaloon of jargon. Troy my clients must be pinned to the count of 5. to be beaten in that ring. and now these contracts are water tight. And if you were so clevar to just I don’t know fire us on the spot. Good luck, I’ll see you in court if you try because these contracts not only oblige my clients to be beaten with the count of 5. These are guaranteed iron clad contracts. Sealed. You and everyone have made fun of my client Steve Blackman, calling him a thing of the past, a shell of himself. Steve Blackman is more intense with age. More focused and the same applies for Edwards and Croyle as well. My men are focused and now they have the ultimate edge and you or anyone in the back can’t do a damn thing about it. We are here to capture all the gold, and were out for destruction. What Edwards did to Robbie Williams was only the prologue to the story that is THE TRUTH!!! Thnank you Thank you!
August 24th, 2018
Irvine, California @ The UCI Colosseum
Match Card:
M1: Eddie Edwards def. Robbie Williams (No Limit First Round)
M2: Golden Bryce def. Vinny Testaverde (Golden Bryce debut)
M3: Slayer def. Awesome (Guest Ref: Marc Snow & Mick Foley)
M4: The McGraws def. Mondo Milk ENT
M5: Tanahashi def. Kota Ibushi
M6: Jaques Dudley def. Chris Johnson & Champagne Clausen
M7: Romeo Roselli def. GG (camerman) after time expires
M8: The Truth Infantry (Edwards, Croyle & Blackman) w/ Will Olaffub def. TakaNaka, Pac, Rey Mysterio & Ruckus
Detailed Events:
No Limits Championship Tournament Quarter-Final Match
M1: Eddie Edwards w/ Will Olaffub, Steve Blackman & Croyle def. Robbie Williams via submission
*Robbie Williams slow to get up gets medical treatment and has his arm in a sling and as he is getting carted to the back. Steve Blackman grabs Robbie and destroys him in quick fashion, soon Croyle and Edwards even get some cheap shots in and Edwards re-applies his finishing submission hold Crossface as paramedics pull him off
*Troy Clausen with Joel Gertner comes out during the mugging of Robbie and he screams at The Truth Infantry “What are you doing?, Olaffub orders Edwards to stop as The Truth Infantry slowly walk past Clausen with their arms up as if to say they aren’t guilty of attacking a defenseless hurt wrestler. Robbie doesn’t look good.
Troy: (up to Ollafub and Infantry on top of ramp) If you guys all wanna get physical tonight, Well then you got it! 6 man tag match, Truth Infantry versus Ruckus, Pac & Rey Mysterio later tonight.
Olaffub: (answering confidently as the infantry smiles deviantly) Not a problem, as a matter of fact Troy why a 6 man tag, How about 2 on say…..5
Troy: Alright, if you jagaloons got a death wish then fine. 5 is what you want, 5 is what you are gonna get, Ruckus, Pac & Mysterio. Now you got all of them plus, 2. The 2 being men who happen to be the greatest tag team in this industry, Taka Naka on top of that! Good luck
Blackman grabs mic from Olaffub:
Troy, you are gonna look stupid at the end of the night. I guarantee it.
M2: Golden Bryce def. Vinny Testaverde
Bryce wins in dominant fashion
Human Resources Help!!!!!
*Mick Foley comes out to the ring then brings out Jake Awesome and says he has to be motivated and that one loss and one occurence of him tapping out doesn't mean the world is over
*Jake Awesome responds almost confused as to why Mick has brought him here and gurantees yes indeed, he tapped out at heatwave but if given the chance to take on Slayer again. He wouldn't do it again. Jake thanks Mick for his help and Mick Foley responds claiming
"I AM THE #1 JAKE AWESOME FAN!"
*Slayer with Marc Snow comes out at the end. Fine Speech Mick, Jake Awesome to these people will always be the hero. Jake Awesome will always be the champion. Regardless, of who is holding it. and here we are show #2 of the “spark is back” but where exactly is the t**le.
He was the last champion, I made him tap even with a biased officiator. I deserve gold.
Mick: Slayer, Mr. Clausen has informed me not to spill this news but I thank the fans RIGHT HERE in Irvine, California (cheap pop) need to know this information. The new XPWEW world heavyweight champion will be crowned at Anarchy Rulz. Next week, more details will be revealed
Marc Snow: interrupts, Mick! more details revealed my son should have the belt! Where is it! Where is the belt! My son should have it.
Mick: Marc I don’t think we’ve formally met, I do know about the urban legend. The urban legend that this crowd is chanting. Your independent persona of Nick Foley, in the 90’s where you sold counterfeit 8 x 10’s claiming you were me. I don’t hold any grudges against you I get it. You gotta put ice cream in the freezer. I know the stories. but Marc, one thing I won’t tolerate from you is the sa** leaking from your quivering lip.
Marc: Mick
Mick: No, No for 20 years I tolerated you profiting from MY NAME, MY LEGACY, watching you maintain a living pretending to be me! A cheap version of mick foley, So how dare you call me biased. Maybe I’m taking this a little too far na maybe I’m letting my 20 years of aggression against you leak out in this trivial argument: No, don’t bow up at me it’s trivial. You still won the match. You still beat the mammoth. but how dare Marc Snow call me biased. A man who held a bias against his youngest son, a bias for your entire life (pointing at Slayer). I do’t know how you can just apologize with this snake. Marc I don’t even wanna see your face. You can call me bias, but you can’t call me an abusive father. You can’t call me a bias parent and you damn sure can’t teach me a damn thing about being without morals. I broke my body in half on every continent to provide for my family, not take all the loot and leave them for dead and then come back to my sons life twenty years later asking for a handout. I’ve lost respect for you Slayer, so yeah I had a bias against a guy that can make amends with this liar.
Marc: Mick, I’m in a decent mood tonight and I’m trying so desperately not to punch you in your fat bearded face but what the hell
*Jake Awesome slaps Marc Snow down to the ground and then attacks Slayer repet**ively.
(Slayer and Marc Snow powder out of the ring.)
*Mick: Marc, I know you’ve spilt blood. but I know you haven’t spilled as much as me but tonight. I’m gonna put the Zebra stripes back on (pulls off Red flannel to unveil Zebra flannel)
Heatwave rematch tonight! Slayer vs Jake Awesome
Mick: And Marc Snow, to a**ure you and your baby boy aren’t a victim of bad officiating. You can wear the stripes too. Jake Awesome will NOT lose again.
Slayer: I don’t wanna wait let’s do this right now
*Guest Referees: Mick Foley & Marc Snow
M3: Slayer def. Jake Awesome
so much interaction between Snow and Foley, Slayer mouths a lot to Foley throughout
Slayer def. Jake via submission yet again. Awesome taps and Foley doesn’t know how to react as he hesitates yet still raises Slayer’s hand in victory
Mick: Jake, even Michael Jordan missed a few shots, even Tom Brady lost a super bowl, Jake Awesome, I still think you are the best professional wrestler this industry has ever seen. Jake barely acknowledges Mick and just walks to the curtain looking at the ground.
M4: The McGraws def. Mondo Milk ENT
*The McGraws run down the crowd praising Alex Jones to be their manager. The McGraws now dub themselves. 1776. Ma**ive heat basically white heat from their post match promo about Obama being born in Kenya
M5: Tanahashi def. Kota Ibushi with a knee to Kota mid-air going for his shooting star press. Tanahshi sneaks the win.
*Interview: Kandi Khaos speaks with Jaques Dudley tonight on his match with Chris Johnson and Champagne Clausen and where does he stand with Troy Clausen.
*Jaques says Clausen claims he’s changed, I’ll guess we’ll see
M6: Jaques def. Chris Johnson & Champagne Clausen in a three way dance
Jaques pins Johnson
Troy Clausen and Joel Gertner come out clapping his hands. Jaques that was an impressive victory. What everyone here didn’t realize is what you guys just watched was a number #1 contenders match for the heavyweight t**le. Congrats Jaques *Clausen winks*
Jaques nods unaware if he should believe Troy or not
*Backstage: Clausen walking back behind the curtain to a sweaty Slayer and Marc Snow in his hippie tye die referee shirt. What the f**k was that Clausen?
Troy: What?
Slayer: So Jaques beat your rookie son and that human sc*m Chris Johnson and he’s in the damn t**le chase
Troy: Yeah, do you watch the show, thats what I just said. and I’m the boss and well your not.
*Marc Snow grabs Gertner’s neck brace tightly choking him
*Slayer gets up in Troy Clausen’s face
Slayer: I don’t care if your the damn second coming. I want my t**le. I wanna know why I made the previous world champion. Tap out, TWICE. and I’M not the #1 contender
Clausen: Fine, Slayer you are now the #2 contender. Happy? Now if you don’t mind. I’d suggest Colgate, Crest maybe.
Clausen walks away
Joel Gertner holding his throat coughing
*The Truth Infantry backstage are talking to referee Danny Coleman. Ollafub is up front showing him some papers backstage. Blackman and Croyle shew away our cameraman recording their locker room
In ring: Romeo Roselli: this is the heavens crown championship. Last Sunday at Heatwave I announced that I will be holding the 7 minutes in Heaven Challenge so who wants to be the lucky first challenger
*A camera man gives his camera to another staff member and takes off all his wires and hops in the ring, telling Romeo to bring it
*Crowd is really into it*
Romeo looking around confused. Are you a camera man? You want to be the first challenger?
What is your name: My name is GG and I’ve been a camera man for XPW since this company started
M7: Romeo Roselli def. GG after the seven minute time limit expires but GG was actually in control of the match at the end of the time limit. Crowd chants GG! GG! GG!
Romeo attacks him with a fluorescent light tube in the crowd and scars his head in the audience stands
Romeo: you will not embarra** me
(Romeo throws GG into a trash can and pushes it down the stadium stairs
Romeo: you will not make a mockery of me
(Romeo grabs his t**le and walks to the back)
Video Package: Joe Gacy & Kirby Lee Covington
(small boy on a playground swinging on swing set)
We are a disease
Plagueground is coming
M8: The Truth Infantry w/ Olaffub def. TakaNaka, Rey Mysterio, Pac, and Ruckus
high spot of the match takes place when Rey Mysterio pins Croyle for a 3 count, Ruckus pins Blackman for a 3 and Taka pins Edwards for a 3 and Danny just gives them a weird look
(commentary is confused, the crowd is confused chanting you f**ked up, bullsh*t)
eventually Troy Clausen and Joel Gertner run on down, Troy calls for Danny. Olaffub eavesdrops over smiling. Danny audibly says “I’m just doing my job, doing what I’m told”. The match still awkwrdly going on at this point. Blackman rolls up Tanaka and Danny counts the 1-2-3
Clausen is like what now that 3 count applies
*bell rings
and your winner: The Truth Infantry
(crowd is confused)
Truth Infantry powders up the ramp with Olaffub jumping up and down for joy, so much in fact his pony tail comes undone.
Troy: Referee Danny Coleman should not be judged for his officiating. Unlike Mick Foley he’s not a biased ref. You see this is the reaction we all wanted. I thought maybe Heatwave would be when the world would find out The Truth!!!
Clausen and the opponents in the ring stare intently
Olaffub: When XPWEW reformed. I went through these re-sign contracts of all my clients in deep deep detail. I noticed so many loose loop holes here and I made a few minor changes. I thought you were a legal Troy Clausen, I guess not haha
I read the trades :)
I adjusted the contracts of Blackman, Croyle and Eddie Edwards. That’s right
I skewed just one little thing. These contracts were so loose honestly it may have took….5 minutes hahahaha
(Infantry laughs in unison)
My clients don’t apply to the referees count of 3. In the contracts of my clients. It says clearly and Troy you signed off on all of these. Hell, I don’t even think you read them. I probably could have gotten away with putting a little more zeros on the salaries. Honestly. Troy you are a joke. A negotiating failure. A jagaloon of jargon. Troy my clients must be pinned to the count of 5. to be beaten in that ring. and now these contracts are water tight. And if you were so clevar to just I don’t know fire us on the spot. Good luck, I’ll see you in court if you try because these contracts not only oblige my clients to be beaten with the count of 5. These are guaranteed iron clad contracts. Sealed. You and everyone have made fun of my client Steve Blackman, calling him a thing of the past, a shell of himself. Steve Blackman is more intense with age. More focused and the same applies for Edwards and Croyle as well. My men are focused and now they have the ultimate edge and you or anyone in the back can’t do a damn thing about it. We are here to capture all the gold, and were out for destruction. What Edwards did to Robbie Williams was only the prologue to the story that is THE TRUTH!!! Thnank you Thank you!
