The boys took me to the corner of the park
that was most hidden by trees to tell me the news.
Are you going to kill me, I joked and they
each pulled a handful of gra** from the ground
and shoved it into their mouths.
I waited in silence while they looked at me
the same way my father did
when I choked on a piece of bread at dinner,
What happened was, Jordan said
While you were away, Eric continued
It wasn't that big of a deal, JoJo choked out
like a skipped rock across the river of his throat
and there they sang like a choir of boys
whose voices have not yet plummeted
to the bottom of a well
Your boyfriend left the party with a girl
and this time, this time he came back
covered in blood, his shirt was soaked,
he threw it away, drank whiskey for the rest of the night
half-naked, when we asked what happened
he said she got a bloody nose
said she got her period, said she was a virgin,
said she liked the pain, said sometimes you can f**k
a girl so hard you break something
no other man could reach.
I waited for them to finish
like
I often did then with men,
to stop speaking
of this girl who I imagined
must have been blonde.
And when they sealed the confession,
I wove my fingers together in my lap
like a patient wife, knitting her own body,
pushed the girl back down to the bottom of the river
said, What do you mean, “This time.”