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[Verse 1] I look at you on the Peloton That I gave you Christmas day Those perfect legs just motoring Keeping cellulite away I'll never introduce you to my friends But that's a price I have to pay I locked you in the basement And baby, that's where you will stay [Chorus] You could've been a pornstar, baby No guy with balls would disagree You could've been a pornstar, baby Taking cumshots from Danny D You could've been a pornstar But you wound up with me [Verse 2] I see your six pack flex and heave When you're throwing up your dinner I know what it takes to make you gag I'm convinced I picked a winner I see their thoughts when they look at you Pretty sure the word is spinnеr Baby, if there really is a god Thеn I was born to be a sinner [Chorus] You could've been a pornstar, baby You're every lowlife's fantasy You could've been a pornstar, baby You proved to me that I'm not gay You could've been a pornstar But you wound up with me [Bridge] You could turn a cock loving woman gay With that magical va-jay And I'm gonna ruin it every day 'Til the thing is all stretched out and grey [Verse 3] You could do Victoria's Secret If they knew that you existed If Harvey Weinstein was still free He wouldn't care if you resisted If the pope could watch you pray I'm pretty sure that he would jack I've done that while you sleep at night And dropped a load right on your back [Chorus] You could've been a pornstar, baby You could be famous on the net You could've been a pornstar, baby Yeah, you're the stretchiest girl I've met You could've been a pornstar, baby You're every teenager's fantasy You could've been a pornstar But you wound up with me You could've been a pornstar But you wound up with me
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