Correction Paroles Norman Bates School of Motel Management - SNL par Saturday Night Live

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NORMAN BATES: Are you tired of slaving away in a dull, dead end job? Fed up with meager paychecks that never stretch quite far enough? Sickened and disgusted by missing out on the good things in life? Hi, I'm Norman Bates for the Norman Bates School of Motel Management, here to explain how you can be your own boss while earning big money in this rapidly expanding field. Best of all, you learn at home in the privacy of your own shower.

NORMAN: I'll show you how to run anything, from a tourist home to a modern, multi-unit motor room. You'll receive step by step instructions on how to receive reservations, and how to determine room rates, how to change the linen, and even little-known tricks of the trade, such as how to improve customer relations by giving guests a complimentary newspaper in the morning.

NORMAN: Yes, a diploma in motel management can be your passport to prosperity, independence, and security. But, are you motel material? Let's find out with a simple quiz. Question one: a guest loses the key to her room. Would you: A: give her a duplicate key, B: let her in with your pass key, C: hack her to death in the kitchen? Question two: Which of the following is most important in running a successful motel? A: cordial atmosphere, B: courteous service, C: hack her to death in the kitchen? All right, question three: how many--

"MOTHER": Important phone call, Norman.

NORMAN: What, Mother?

"MOTHER": Important phone call.

NORMAN: Well, I've got to go. I have an important phone call. Just one of dozens that I get every week as a fully qualified motel manager. And if you'd like to become one, too, simply send your name and address to the Norman Bates School of Motel Management, Old Highway, Fairvale, California. There's no obligation whatsoever, and--and no salesman will... call, so--so... y-y-y-you don't have to b-b-b-bother to... lock your door, y'know, you can--you can just... heh heh... leave it off the latch... Or lock it! That's fine, I don't care! I don't care if you lock it! 'Cause I have the keys! I have the keys right here! I have keys to room one, and I have the keys to room two, and I have the keys to room three--

"MOTHER": Norman!

NORMAN: Coming, Mother.

[NORMAN leaves the room, to much audience applause.]

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