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How to Handle a Woman
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Frederick Loewe
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Blast you, Merlin! This is all your fault! You swore that you had taught me everything from A to Zed With nary an omission in between Well, I shall tell you what You obviously forgot That's how a ruler rules a queen! And what of teaching me by turning me to animal and bird? From beaver to the smallest bobolink I should have had a whirl To change into a girl To learn the way the creatures think! But wasn’t there a night On a summer, long gone by We passed a couple wrangling away And did I not say 'Merlin, what if that chap were I?' And did he not give counsel and say What was it now? My mind’s a wall Oh, yes, by jove, now I recall 'How to handle a woman? There's a way, ' said the wise old man 'A way known by ev'ry woman Since the whole rigmarole began.'
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