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13 Reasons Why
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Bizzy Crook
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[BZZY] Who going to miss me when I die? Suicide on my mind, there's 13 reasons why Who going to miss me when I'm gone? Hannah baker they'll play my shit when I'm gone Who's going to miss me when I die? Suicide on my mind, there's 13 reasons why Who's going to miss me when I'm gone? I miss the days when I used to smoke without tripping I miss the days when I used to sleep without thinking The good old days when I used to talk and you'd listen The nights where I could have a good time without drinking Trying to save the world is like a suicide mission I used to think getting money would get a lot different Depression still around is just easier now to deal with it Because once you're getting money it's easier to conceal it But there is not a truth that time won't reveal At 10 years old I thought of shooting myself When mom and dad‘s fights we're getting more physical The bruises I wore to school we're getting more visible I hate that growing up I hated my dad I couldn't even watch cartoons without making him mad I wish we had more time to find the time that we lacked I wish I got less punches and more pats on the back I wish we could've kicked it like friends instead of breaking into your room and stealing guns to feel like the man I try to join the bloods so they can come for you and D told me nah youngin this shit is not for you Now that I'm older I could see it through I'm your son, I got your demons too And dad I know you try to make it right But dad a lot of shit you put me through scarred me for life Like, like you to reason that I'm still timid Like, you are the reason that hot temper is still in him Domestic violence, cheating and f*cking other women 13 years later my momma still with him That's a touchy subject let me get up off it I started off with a lot of friends, I wonder where they all went Niggas is blaming me for their failures now, like it's my fault they on they grandma's couch When all I tried to do was show you out Before you turned your back that's the shit you should've thought about I took Niggas on tour with me, they ain't starve with me, they ain't sleep on the floor with me I have room, came back and brought more with me Once I started getting more, they just more envy One by one they started switching up and saying how they never needed luck They tell their side of the story I stay silent because that says enough My depression goes for the back then I could recall I change your life and you don't pick the phone up when I call? All those flights on my credit card, yeah I took a loss I don't recall when they burn a bridge and they've got to cross Ain't no loving a jealous crew I never expected that shit from you After all the shit that we've been through How are you running with Niggas that want to see my mom I lose How you sellin' inside stories to outsiders Dark times my inner light shines brighter Suicide on my mind I'm really going under Back stabbed by the Niggas I considered brothers Hold up, this girl is not my baby‘s mother More or less like a friend of hers, I've fallen for her Condoms in my pocket Thoughts full of guilt I knew this shit would end up bad but I did it still Selfish of me I'm so f*cking selfish I'm a piece of shit I can't f*cking help it Don't feel bad I'm f*cked up I've seen the two women I love exchange awkward hugs And only one knew about the other one I keep it real with bitches and lie to the one I love And I'm the one that's always preaching karma Gender revealed that I'm having a daughter I wish I could stay to be involved but there's just too much dirt on my hands to wash it off I want to say f*ck it, I'm torn Latoya Luckett Chasing after Fame but I hide my soul in public My introvert just make shit worse I can't tell you how I feel and that's what makes shit worse I done tried a couple drugs but ain't shit work but alcohol is the poison I prefer I'm sorry Natalie, Wendy, Rosa, and Winnie too Marcy, Brenda, Gypsy and Tina too I'm sorry you were the vessel I formed my demons through I used to tell you, I loved you You wouldn't hear And then we broke up and you went deaf in one ear Karma is real if the messaging ain't clear I know that way too well that's my only fear Damn, how did I end up here? Pistol on my lap I know the end is near I'm sorry mama, I'm just cleaning out my closet I'm sorry that I stole jewelry out your closet And then I went and pawned it and went and bought a gun to make profits When I was 15 I pimped my cousin out What the f*ck was I thinking about? Young nigga had a broken soul Or maybe I just grew up in a broken home It was hard to sleep with all the fuss and fights So I would stay up and I would dream at night I used to tell my little sister it would be alright I wish I was right No we've grown apart And I don't call enough My mom is on the phone begging us to keep in touch That's my little sister, heard she's drinking too much My cousin said her depression is getting worrisome My mom is like hurry son This is 13 reasons I gave you 31 All the shit on my mind that's why I've got to jump This shit eats me alive that's why I gotta jump
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