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Burn To Ashes
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Backxwash
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[Backxwash] I gotta wrestle with most of my self From holding the rope, holding the belt Thoughts when alone, thoughts of myself Choke on the water, no one to help Alone in Ottawa, and the lights And ambulance's sonic's is bright in my head Bloated from water, floating in horror Sorrow in shower, more on the hour I think it's sad with the way that I went I took the baggage from every event I took the anguish I felt in my head There is no bandage for where I am headed Poetic justice, got need for my suffering So I decided to go on ahead I think they glad that I'm ending up dead Up in the casket I'm wearing the red Life is so fucked when you end up depressed Auntie said “Nah, it is all in your head Boy, are these demons? You needin' a prayer” How do I cast out the evil in there? How this compares to the weep and despair Punching the wind, kickin' the air Uncomfortable feelings, splittin' my hair Humble beginnings, feeding the bear How did this shit even get to this I had just thought that this shit would be different here Only safeness or greatness I'm facing Just ends up with me only kickin' a chair When the time comes, it fades to black, I know where I'm at I just spark the fumes, boom, and start it as I burn to ash (Burn to ashes) I be fighting all these demons but I'm losing I'm a target in the view and there's nothing I can do (Burn to ashes) I been trying out to airing out these fumes But the air, not removing, what the fuck I'm gonna do? (Burn to ashes) I don't wanna hear the silence in my room Cause I'm lightin' up the fuse and there's nothin' you could do (Burn to ashes) I'm just tryna keep a buck and keep it movin' But this shit is not improving, what the fuck I'm gonna do? I been tryna get some help Stop this silence on my health Think “confide in someone else” Stop the violence on myself Most the time I'm mostly blinded Coz my pride is all I felt Closing blinds, it's no outside I feel like hiding from the world I know it's hard and I feel the pandemic is making it worse Prediabetic my story feels cursed I hope the sepsis will get to me first Finding it hard to breathe, and my arteries and my stomach is folding my nerves If it was up to me, this is right cause it's only just what I deserve I know that Chachi is worried I am so sorry for you know just how I am hurting This is my problem, you don't deserve it I feel unworthy without any purpose I cherish the time we spent together Every moment is making it worth it I never talk about how I am feeling I don't wan' bother or make you feel nervous If I do go in silence, let it be known that I tried all I can Fuck all my enemies hard as I can Fuck all these papers who call me a man When the time comes, it fades to black, I know where I'm at I just light the fumes, boom, and spark it as I burn to ash (Burn to ashes) What? Uh! Oh! I'm just (Burn to ashes) Ah! Oh! Keep it burning (Burn to ashes) Keep it burning! Ah! Just (Burn to ashes) Woo! (Burn to ashes)
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