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Taboo
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[Adèle] We agonise over every single word that we put into our songs! And, of course, there are many subjects that we'd never dream of touching in songs, such as... ... Unwanted facial hair... [Dillie] Smegma! [Liza] ... Ipswich... [Dillie] ... or how about: Inviting a vegetarian to a barbecue? [Adèle] Yelling "TITANIC!" on the QE2! [Liza] Meeting Prince Andrew and asking "What do you do?" [All] It's taboo It's taboo It's taboo! When you're kissing, it's having bad breath With your granny, talking 'bout death If you're an actor, quoting Macb... It's taboo, it's taboo, it's taboo Taboo is doing things that are sadly mistaken Like saying Muhammed was partial to bacon Asking Justin Bieber for a lift in his motor Going to the ladies and leaving a floater! Telling Nick Clegg he's done a wonderful job Posting a letter in Cherie Blair's gob Telling Bruce Forsythe to bloody well quit Or asking Rolf Harris to babysit! [Liza] So is it wise to go out in a crop top if you've got several bellies? (Oh, no no no!) I'd have to say no (Oh, no no no!) - it's not nice for us! (Not nice at all!) And is it wrong to make love to a sheep when you're not wearing wellies? I'd have to say yes! [Adèle] Oh, but why? [Liza] They might run away! (Baaaa!) [All] Picking your nose at an interview Keeping your mouth open when you chew Hogging the loo when there's a queue It's taboo, it's taboo, it's taboo! [Liza] Doing a bunk on your wedding day [Adèle] Sleeping with your brother when his wife's away [Dillie] Admitting to the world you're a lousy lay [All] It's taboo, it's taboo, it's taboo! Taboo is when you break society's rules Like having a pee in a swimming pool Telling Harry Styles his hair is skanky Eating the bogies from a stranger's hanky! Getting run over when your knickers aren't clean Rogering yourself with an aubergine Informing your hostess her dinner's a disgrace By spitting out the gristle in her husband's face! [Adèle] So should you ask the Dalai Lama if he misses Nepal? I have to say no! He comes from Tibet! And should you use your sphincter to whistle the Dead March from "Saul"? I'd like to say yes, 'cos it's jolly good fun! [All] Discussing the details of your diarrhoea Giving your best friend gonorrhoea Sticking your tongue in the vicar's ear It's taboo, it's taboo, it's taboo! [Liza] Telling Madonna she's obsolete [Adèle] Sniffing Boris Johnson's bicycle seat [Dillie] Asking Oscar Pistorius "Do you miss your feet?" [All] It's taboo, it's taboo, it's taboo [Dillie] So if you ask me if taboo is crazy convention I have to say yes, I have to say yes And if you ask me if... /spoken/ We'd've included all the other taboos that we read about, 'cos we did an awful lot of research for writing this song - we read Freud and Kant and Young, and there were lots and lots of other taboos we wanted... /sung/ ... to mention I have to say no! [Adèle and Liza] Oh why, man? [All] Because they're taboo! Whoo!
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