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ABU$E
by
Yxng Maz
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Lyrics
It all started when my parents split Moved onto different paths and sh*t Different lives cause what was meant to work was not working at this time Having to visit every other weekend And each time we did i had to defend, my life From the constant abuse mentally and physically That i received day and night Forcing me to feel like im worthless Like whats the point in living I was beaten to the point where I couldn't breathe Tears rolling down my face as i dropped to my knees To try and regain stamina but i never felt at ease Cause everytime i looked in his eyes i could see The anger that was built up all for no reason Took it out on me cause i was an easy victim Almost as if he was hooked on the pain he gave to me like its addictive I never felt so restricted in my own damn home Unable to text or call as i stared blankly at my phone I needed help yet i couldn't seem to ask for any Cause the fear filling my mind had me feeling heavy I wasn't ready for it but the only thing that i could think about Was the end of my life, cause its either i took his Or he took mine and thats just how i feel inside The week pa**ed and we were back again Little did he know i had been practicing It started out calm then it all built up As he shouted out in rage and then picked me up Threw me across the hall, thats when i hit my head As i regained consciousness i lifted myself up to see how much I had bled, taken to the hospital where i was then St**ched up with medical grade thread "how did it happen" I couldn't get the words out, knowing if i did it would be over But physically couldn't say a word this sh*t was so absurd Why couldn't i let myself escape this pain, had me to the point Where i thought the only way out was to create slits in my veins My dad spoke up "He caught his foot and tripped, matter of fact he might have slipped" No way was he going to mention the fact he threw me He didn't wanna raise any attention He looked me straight in the eyes until he filled my mind With the thought of when we got home i was going to die So as i sat there strapped to all these machines i began to cry As he whispered "dont worry its all going to be alright" Followed by a smile that came from his sinister mind The words that he spoke were all lies The training i'd been doing didn't pay off Physically I could of fought But mentally i was at war Not with him but with myself A fight between me and my mental health The whole journey home i had to listen to his screams But he also thanked me for not saying a thing I suddenly built up the courage and began to swing Non stop violence as he was driving I was sat there just thriving Off the feeling A bit of payback and the thought filled my mind Why dont you just kill him So i grabbed the wheel out of rage Turned it 90 degrees to the left and look him right in the face Straight for the wall we were aimed I flung open my door And fell to the floor As i watched the car until it wasn't visible anymore I let out a sudden cry Why had i let myself go through this for 5 years of my life Still i continued to cry The truth is i dont think i will ever be a dad Just incase i ended up being like this guy
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