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Suddenly Everything Changed
by
VCTMS
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I stay awake at night, stuttering to speak the words Of a feeling I can no longer find All the pain that I’m holding on Self inflict for a bit like it makes me strong Am I wrong? Not enough for your love I used to crave attention Now I’ve grown used to loneliness Cause I can’t break my own heart & I refuse to let you do it again My dichotomy sits between happiness & suffering This illness enervates my cheeks, drains them of their coloring Sometimes I bloom & then I wither My lungs collapse, pneumonia, it blisters All I ever wanted was reprieve from these aches From feeling drained, from the sadness I can’t satiate What’s left of us? Can you answer with honesty? I resent you too much for you to be happy with me I’m hanging on the truth, it’s at the tip of my tongue I tried to feel something, but I’ve just grown numb I fear to hurt again, I’m afraid to let you in I lost myself that first time and I haven’t been the same since Am I a fool for you, or have I just been comfortable with abuse? I’m a hostage in my head Cut so deep from the words you’ve said I can’t find relief Searching for reprieve Am I a fool for you? Or have I just been comfortable with abuse? I can’t find relief Searching for reprieve
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