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Hoist up the Thing
by
The Longest Johns
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Lyrics
Fresh out of college, with grades straight from Hell I browsed for a trade at which I could excel An ad for a ship in need of some manning Men, sails, and purpose, but lacking a captain What luck, says I, to find such good fortune! A few white lies later, I ran down the pier Bought me a coat and a cutlass or two Jumped on the deck, and I yelled at the crew: {Chorus} Hoist up the thing! Batten down the whatsit! What's that thing spinning? Somebody should stop it! Turn hard to port! (That's not port) Now I've got it! Trust me, I'm in control! I can’t sing the shanties, it has to be said And all of that grog just goes right to my head Whale meat is gross and I miss a girl’s laugh Five weeks at sea, even Dave seems a catch! {Chorus} Hoist up the thing! Batten down the whatsit! What's that thing spinning? Somebody should stop it! Turn hard to port! (That's not port) Now I've got it! Trust me, I'm in control!
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