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The Cookie Chase
by
Stephen Sondheim
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Lyrics
Places, everyone, it's lock-up time! Synchronize your watches, surround the square Arrest that crazy lady. No, not Mrs. Schroeder! She's a fugitive from the Cookie Jar! I expect every man among you to be on your toes! (sung) Lock 'em up, put 'em away in the Jar! Time to start getting the nets out! Lock 'em up into the cage, quietly! No one must know Cart 'em off into the bin, turn the key! Quick, before anyone gets out! Turn the key, throw it away, there we are! Forty-eight to go! (spoken) Detmold? Yes, your honor? Check in your patients Your name, madam? This doesn't fit, it's much too big! I wear a size eleven, maybe a twelve! Did you always hate your father? Convict her later, arrest her now! There's only one question that needs answering... (sung) Are they breathing? Then they're Cookies Are they moving? Then they're Cookies Are they living? Then they're Cookies So get on with it! Quick, get on with it! Are they human? Then they're Cookies So shut up, my dear doctor, and shut her up, too! Lookie, lookie, here comes Cookie now Naughty Cookie, playing hooky That, we don't allow (spoken) Cigarette Light Thanks Get 'em Lock 'em up! (sung) You take the key, my love I'm too exhausted to move Music, I must have music A moment's music, or my head will burst! I know you'll meet the test You've been well rehearsed Do your best Meaning do your worst Let me rest And remember, my Schubchen Women and children first! Lock 'em up Put 'em away In the Jar Time to start getting the nets out! Lock 'em up Into the cage Quietly No one must know Lock 'em up, put 'em away in the Jar! Time to start getting the nets out! Lock 'em up into the cage, quietly! No one must know Cart 'em off into the bin, turn the key! Quick, before anyone gets out! Turn the key, throw it away, there we are! Forty-two to go! Not yet gone back to Lourdes, yet? No Ah Ah, ah Ah, ah, ah Ah, ah Ah, ah Ah, ah Ah Ah Fire! Hurricane! Everyone off of the streets! Run for your lives, run for your lives! The dam has burst! Run for your lives, run for your lives! The lion's loose! Fire, bubonic plague, air raid warning! Hurry! Run, run, run! Run for your lives, run for your lives! The dam has burst! Run for your lives, run for your lives! The lion's loose! Fire, bubonic plague, air raid warning! Hurry! Run, run, run!
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