Correction Lyrics Now Point One (Fay’s Monologue) by Stephen Sondheim

Featuring(s) : Fay s Monologue

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Lyrics

Not that word! Nor any word like it! Cookies, Schub! That's what my charges are. Cookies from the Cookie Jar! Patients from Dr. Detmold's asylum for the socially pressured, quarantined out of fear that their disease may be contagious. They are people who made other people nervous by leading individual lives, they suffer from contact with groups and systems. I won't specify who or what, but if the shoe fits boys, you put your foot in it!

Now, point one! I am in love with reason that against any balded-a** superst**ion that holds up progress. And those dripping waters of yours not only hold it up, they flood and drown it. My name is Apple, "A"-double-"P"-"L"-"E"! A fruit well-mentioned in the Bible, that best-seller of many miracles. I cite the Ten Commandments and the Burning Bush, to mention only two, or eleven, depending on your arithmetic. Mine makes them add up to zero because I personally am for the miracles of man, such as the wheel, the alphabet, and the pyramids of Egypt!

Now, point two! If that exposed sewer system is a miracle, I freely admit that I will take a running jump in the origin of that water. What is more, if it can make any more of those lazy pilgrims, yes, they're lazy, trying to get a get new life quick. If it can make any of them permanently happy, I will take three running jumps and only come up twice! But will I bet you that the same thing will happen that happens every time you sell people a myth, those waterworks will turn out not to be a miracle, and those pilgrims are going to end pounding on our doors! Well, we have no room, Schub! Every bed is full, and they are sleeping in shifts. There is no more room in the Jar!

Now, point three! If these are my beliefs, and they are, why do I want my Cookies to take your waters? I'll tell you why. Because my Cookies are people, Schub! They are human beings, and they ought to be treated as such and have the same rights as everyone else! You let them sit in your movies, Schub, although you make them sit in the segregated section. You let them charge in your stores, Cooley, although you make them pay on the 9th and not on the 10th of the month! So you can both bloody well let them dip into that leaking drainpipe. If you don't, I'm not saying I will go to the police, because I am no fool. Nor will I go to the Mayoress, because she is. But this is a free town in a free county in a free state in a free country and I am a free woman with a free mouth, and if you say no to my Cookies, I will open up that mouth and I will talk! And I am telling you here and now that when I talk, I talk long and loud!

While they have been arguing, the Cookies have blended into the line of pilgrims

Alright now, who's who?

But before they can, Fay disappears over the rock

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