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Exhibit A
by
Stephen Sondheim
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Lyrics
Every little pillow has its use Take it from a connoissoor I'm the boy who coined the word "seduce" Not some lousy amachoor Every little thing has its function In conjunction With amour Take it from a boy who's had Rendezvoos galoor To impress, to appeal Use finesse, be genteel Exhibit A: A couch must be sprayed with The fragrance of new pine And soon all vertical things'll be supine A woman'll feel at ease As long as she's smelling trees In bloom Exhibit B: A door ain't a door 'til You close it and lock it She can't get out if the key's in your pocket And nobody else but you can get in— The room Exhibit C: Music, if it's slow and smooth Hath charms to soothe The savage breast Get her stretched out And let rhythm do the rest That fascinating rhythm Exhibit D: A cushion is just like A girl when it's fluffed up Girls and cushions are Meant to be roughed up But never, never pawed! To appeal, to impress Be genteel, use finesse With the shyest and daintiest Creature on earth—a broad Exhibit E: A flask is for girls who May have their suspicions A shot will help 'em forget inhibitions The shot'll become a cup And finally it'll be "Bottoms up!" Exhibit F: A hammock is drafty A place to catch cold in But just remember that silence is golden And hammocks are better than sofas or swings No springs Exhibit G: Lights make a room cheerier But I prefer The lights that fail 'Cause with no lights You can talk to her in Braille That's what they mean When they say love is blind Exhibit H: A girl is a thing which is made Out of gla** and lace So you must take care When you're setting up shop If you want to come out on top Then put every prop in its proper place Just checking: A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I- Rest my case!
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