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Bargaining
by
Stephen Sondheim
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When you find something you want to buy, what is the first question you ask the shopkeeper? How much, I suppose And when he tells you how much, do you pay? Right Wrong! You say you aren't sure You look, you handle, you wonder, you frown You dwell on what is poor Too big, too little, too orange, too brown You tell him that you think you see a crack He tells you it is just the old shellac You say you saw a better one in Rome a week before He says that if you did, it must have cost a thousand more You say: "Too roccoco!" He says: "Shall I wrap it?" You: "Is it real Venetian?" He: "I can guarantee it." "Let me see some others, please." "Madam, all wе have are thesе." "May I use a check to pay?" "Madam, anything you say." "Will you mend it?" "We will mend it." "Can you send it?" "We can send it." "Will you --?" "Madam." "Can you --?" "Madam." "Is it --?" "Madam." "May I --?" "Madam." "Let me think it over, I'll come back another day."
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