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Marx (Lyrical Version)
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Tuesday: That was the day Pop Star changed forever. Everythin' was goin' perfect. Sky Baby 2 got a new super ship, Castle Dedede 2 was progressin' nicely, the dees were feedin' me one of my four breakfast pies, and Kirbeh was eatin' the birds in the forest that kept wakin' me before my breakfast pies were ready (explosion) Then in a huge flash of light, everythin' was different. Castle Dedede 2 was vaporized! No! My Halberd! Not again! (another explosion) My Halberd... My cunnin' sense of intruition told me Sky Baby 2's hairbird was vaporized, too. I peered my head out of what used to be a window to see what was goin' on, when I spotted a giant clown in the sky lookin' down on Cappytown Hi there, Pop Star! My name's Marx! You may have noticed your leaders' strongholds and weapons have disappeared. Don't worry, that's just a sample of my phenomenal cosmic power! I can do much worse...but, I won't. So long as you bow down and praise me as your new ruler! Ehehehehehehehehe! I had to chuckle. The Cappytown cappies were far too loyal to me to ever even THINK o' defectin'... Praise Marx! C'MON, CAPPIES!!! Don't any o' y'all got no loyalty to your royalty?!? I'm with you, King Dedede! You can take this guy! He doesn't even have arm-(zapped by Marx) All glory to Marx! And with that, every last one of the Cappies denounced me and started worshippin' that Marx guy. It was my biggest nightmare... Marx-ism had invaded Dreamland. Thankfully I still had a few allies. The Waddles would never leave my side, Sky Baby 2 wanted revenge for his ship, and Escargoon...apparently had an extreme jester phobia. We retreated into the forest and found Kirbeh still eatin' birds in it. Lookin' over my dwindlin' subjects, I knew it would take each and everyone of us workin' together to overthrow that clown, so I put down my seventh dinner pie and started writin' down a plan to save Pop Star. Sky Baby 2...wasn't a fan o' the plan, so he decided to write his own. It was intricate, precise and flawless...then Kirbeh ate it. So he wrote another one. Kirbeh ate that, too. So he wrote it one Kirbeh. It was decided. We'd all go up into the sky at once and storm him. We sat down to prepare with one last pre-battle picnic when suddenly...(Kirby's cake disappears) Puyo?! HEY, KIRBY! I STOLE YOUR AWFUL CAKE! Puyo... Kirby, wait! It's a trap! Gotcha! Bye bye, everyone! Ehehehehehehehehe! There goes our plan... Kirby's gonna take a poundin' over a poundcake... Eh...everyone after im'!!!! I sure hope Kirbeh can hold up 'til we get there... Hehehehehehehehehe! I knew that'd work! Puyo! Aw... are you angry at lil' old Marx for stealin' your cake? (eats the cake) Mmm...delicious! Puyooooooooooo! There's the heartless killer I'm looking for! Puyo? Allow me to make my point... Haha! (sung) Kirby, I gotta say, giant fan of your appet**e! My heart skipped five beats each time I watched some cute thing get sucked up screaming in fright! Did they all die in pain? Did they have families? Or did they suffer the fate you pushed onto me? That's right, that awful cake you sealed me in for half a year! I could just barely breathe through the layers of icing, sprinkles and mortal fear! That's not how cakes are made! People don't go inside! Only seems fair it's your turn to be terrified!!! Here, have a sample of the strength you've just awoke! I wished on a comet, taste laser vomit! That one's really bad for my throat... I can spit out a bowling ball, too; it's really cold! You'd better put up your guard wall, too, or you'll be arrowed! Don't you get comfy for a second, you'll be sliced to bits! I won't stop fighting 'til you don't exist! Puyo! (spoken) You still think you're the hero here, don't you? (sung) Dreamland was once a place under a peaceful monarchy Until you showed your pink face, tore the world apart, laid waste to the hierachy! That's why I snatched you up! That's why you're here alone! You're the one thing that could topple my perfect throne! Silently, I have watched as you put knights and kings to shame And silently, I have screamed, knowing I had no one but myself to blame I wouldn't lose my grasp! I wouldn't show relent! I would strike down that pink, puffy-faced dissident! Resentment slowly grew into dreams of ending you... Now hatred can flower from my seed shower!!!!! (Bloom into vines with thorns astrewn!) You've got so much potential, but you throw it away! You could rule everything and everyone, but you waste your days! Using your god-like powers just to suck up sweets Try this new flavor; I call it defeat!!!! (Marx pukes a donut) (spoken) No, seriously. Try it. It's like maple syrup and bacon. Yeah, I know it's weird. Trust me, it's good Puyo! (tries to eat the donut, but gets stuck) Puyo???? GOTCHA!!! EHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!!!!!!!! You got stuck in the maple syrup! What a sap! Prepare to enter a literal world of PAIN!!!!!! [nothing happens] Errrrr... why aren't you fitting in the black hole? Puyo! ARE YOU KIDDING?!?! You actually ate the donut that fast?!? Argh, this is no good (panting) Made it...I knew takin' that shortcut through that Kracko-Storm was a good idea... Prepare to be struck down by the mighty Dedede... [collapses from exhaustion] Aw, geez... dessert is here and I haven't even finished the main course... Wait, maybe this can work! Oh gosh, oh gee, the mighty Dedede has come to save the day! I have? Uh, yeah! I have! So, what's gonna happen? You clobber the jester that stole your kingdom, be the hero of Dreamland, go home and eat second dinner... That sounds pretty good to me... And spend the rest of your days at the mercy of a cream puff with infinite power Huh?! You know, Kirby? The "sky baby"? Eh, I'm done with Kirbeh. He's mah subject now. I rule in my castle, and he eats the animals in the forest that start fights with him. Mostly birds, lotta dumb birds, lotta dumb, dead birds But what happens when he's eaten them all? He... He can do that? King Dedede, it's time for you to learn the truth about Kirby... (sung) Here's Kirby, big and round Eats the gra** right off of the ground Never puts on a single pound Eternally hungry... That's...true Force no one can defeat Nothing he wouldn't eat Like...me? Like me... Like you... (like you) (spoken) And the Waddle Dees and Escargoon and Meta Knight Who? Oh, Sky Baby 2 He'd...he'd even eat another Sky Baby? Nothing's stopping him. Unless... Unless what? Unless we make a deal A...a deal??? (sings, brings in Kirby) Listen, King Dedede, I'm at my limits with this guy Just keeping him stuck in place takes every ounce of power I can supply... But he's too full to fit in this tiny black hole... I've got him weakened but not under my control! I've gotten weaker too and Kirby is prepared to kill If I let the hole collapse, I'll get clobbered first and you'll bow down to his will! But there's another way! We could team up instead! I'll hold him down and you clobber him 'til he's dead! Sure I'll still be in charge, but I want my pawns alive! Tell all of your friends what you did was best for them! Hurry, before they arrive! They wouldn't understand all this, they're not snide like us! They could never know the way it feels to decide like us! Puyo...! Hurry! He's trying to break free! Deal the final blow! He might look cute, but in your heart, you know... Yeah...I'll do it. I'll clobber dat Kirbeh Good. I knew I could count on you to do the right thing (sung) Hail to the mighty King Dedede For his destiny quickly impends... Through the fiercest ferocity End the monstrosity you've long to end; save your subjects and friends...! If I do this to save everyone, there'll be no more gourmet races...no more wrestlin' matches...no more summonin' monstahs...no more...crazy schemes...no more...no more Kirbeh... If I lose all that...is everyone really bein' saved? Hurry up! I can't hold him much longer! Act like a true king and protect your subjects already! You're right... A true king...protects his subjects... That's right... A true king...protects his subjects...EVEN KIRBEH! WHAT?!?!?! PUUUYOOOOOO!!!! Yeah, don't mention it, pink boi WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! YOU'RE DESTROYING YOUR FUTURE!!! Wrong. We're savin' it! King Dedede! We are here to fight beside you! He can't defeat all of us! C'mon, put up yer dukes, ya twin-hat wearin'...Aaaagh! Scary Jester! This wasn't part of the plan... Heah Heah Heah! You're outnumbered a hundred 'ta one! Kirbeh! Puyo? Listen up, I know I can't clobber this guy, but we can! And you got the secrets to victory in that little baby brain o' yours. You got me, Sky Baby 2, the Waddles, and... (quivers in fear) Well, you got the Waddles. Just show us what to do, and we'll follow your lead! Puyo! (Kirby inhales Dedede and company) KIRBEH, WHYYYY?! ...Well, didn't see that one coming... (Kirby gets everyone's powers) ...Oh, beans...(Kirby curb-stomps Marx) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that was the end of Marx. After that, Kirbeh floated back to Dreamland and spit everyone out. And I mean everyone. Once we shooed all the birds back into the forest, things were pretty peaceful. Sky Baby 2 got a new super ship... Oh Halberd, never leave again... Kirbeh went on some quest across the Milky Way to make a wish on a giant god clock... {giant clock arrives} Puyo! {giant clock gives him cake} He wished for a cake. And me and the Waddles finally finished Castle Dedede 2, where I ate third dinner and settled down with mah Waddles for a peaceful night's rest. And so, that's how Kirbeh, Sky Baby 2, all you Waddles, Escargoon, and your King Dedede saved Dreamland Now, let's try and... get some rest... (still traumatised from getting swallowed by Kirby) ...Someone get me the star rod...
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