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Xerox Xmas Letter
by
Ray Stevens
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We got a Xerox Christmas letter From the Sterling family Seems things in Palm Springs Are going swimmingly Their daughters both married doctors Their son was Yale's Man of the Year Chip's business broke all records Buffy's a Red Cross volunteer We've been on their Xerox letter list For twenty years or more It's been that long, at least Since the Sterlings lived next door But this year my wife, Lurleen, said As we were sweeping up the yard "Let's us send a Xerox letter this year Instead of a Christmas card!" Howdy, y'all and Merry Christmas! Well, we still live in the double-wide But Bubba's added on A bass-boat shed and a workshop And new flamingos for the lawn We took down the front yard tire swing Now that Junior's in the pen But it looks like a happy new year: They moved him off death row again! Xerox Christmas letters -- Oh, nothing could be better Than to hear from folks you hardly know Bragging on all they have achieved Xerox Christmas letters -- Yeah, nothing we like better: We read them from the glow Of our 2-foot aluminum tree Our youngest is at the halfway house Once again in the family way This time the daddy lives beneath the bridge On the old I-5 freeway And this year we all took a whirlwind tour But we didn't get too far: It happened when a twister touched down In our trailer park Xerox Christmas letters -- Oh, nothing could be better Than to hear from folks you hardly know Bragging on all they have achieved Xerox Christmas letters -- Yeah, nothing we like better: We read them from the glow Of our 2-foot aluminum tree
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