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The Ballad of the Blue Cyclone (The End?)
by
Ray Stevens
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Lyrics
Blue Cyclone I woke up in a hospital bed Stars a-circlin' around my head And a plaster cast on just about every bone But the doctor said I'd be just fine "These things just take a little time..." And three weeks later, he let me go back home But I laid in bed three weeks just thinkin' "I believe I coulda took him if I hadn't been drinkin' So the next time we meet, I won't be on no binge "Cause I hadn't been the same since we had that fight And I'd see that Cyclone in my dreams at night And I won't be satisfied 'til I get revenge..." Well, the first thing my wife said when I got home Was, "You'd better leave that Cyclone alone" She said, "You might not be so lucky next time." So, I says to her, "Beg your pardon, ma'am But it wasn't YOU who got the body slam," Then I changed the subject, 'cause I done made up my mind Then I called up Bill and told him my plan And all he said was, "Right on, man! I'd do the same durn thing if it'd been me It all happened so quick when that car door slammed It musta broke something, 'cause the door locks jammed You was already down, he's gone time I got free." Bill said, "Since yer thinkin' 'bout takin' him again I know two ol' boys who weigh 210 They'd wade through hell just to fight a circle saw They both lift weights, so you know they're mean And the four of us would make a heck of a team We might not win, but we'd durn-sure fight to a draw." Well, we talked it over, they said they's willin' They'd stop at nothing, short of killin' Said "Hoss, we'll back you as long as you wanna fight." So I checked around at a few of the bars And found out where all the wrasslin' stars Hung out after the matches every Wednesday night Well, I got there early the following week And found me a table where I could see the street And waited for the Blue Cyclone to hit the door Well, after a while, he finally appeared Sat down at the bar, and ordered a beer And he barely took a sip 'fore I stepped to the middle of the floor I yelled, "Hey Cyclone! Remember me? I'm the guy you put to sleep Only this time, you can see I'm not alone. Ha ha You see them two big dudes over there?" The Cyclone looked and said, "Over where?" And I turned around, and I'm a son of a gun, they was gone! Then the Cyclone looked at me and grinned And he said, "Okay punk, here we go again It seems to me that some guys never learn." And then he waded through them tables and chairs Put a full-nelson on me, and grabbed my hair And when he threw me to the floor, I was starting to get concerned Then came a birrage of judo chops And I was beggin' somebody to call the cops Before the Cyclone could commit a mortal crime I sure breathed a sigh of relief When I heard them ambulance sirens scream 'Cause I'd be dead now, if they hadn't gotten there on time The next thing I remember, they was carryin' me in And the doctor said, "Oh no, you again?" I said, "Doctor, how long you thing it'll be this time?" He said, "Boy, if you don't leave that Cyclone alone One of these days, you ain't goin' home! You'll need the undertaker's services, not mine." Blue Cyclone He's the meanest rascal the ring has ever known He'll make you groan, he'll make you moan He'll lay you prone and break your bones Blue Cyclone The Blue Cyclone
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