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Kitty Cat’s Revenge
by
Ray Stevens
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Lyrics
Well, when I was young, I had a job with the Fire Department Rescue Squad And we got a call one day to get a cat out of a drainage line Now the lady was frantic and the day was hot And she'd mentioned her kitty was an ocelot A fact that did not seem all that important at the time 'Cause they're usually neutered, declawed, defanged But this little fella still had everything And when I found him back in that drainage pipe He was a tremblin', shakin' mess Well, I reached to grab him, but he grabbed me first And that's the worst I thought I'd ever been hurt But that was before I hit my head On that big dirt dauber's nest Since I was on my knees anyway I thought I'd just offer up a little prayer Lord, have mercy on me Save a place in Heaven for me 'Cause we're running outta room in this drainage pipe Yeah, the cat and the bees don't need no help They're doin' just fine right by theirselves But anything you can do for me, Lord I'd sure be much obliged Well, everything I grabbed was either tooth or claw It was like tryin' to fight a circle saw And those bees, Lord, have mercy, friends They were all over me It was a stingin', bitin', clawin' fight And then I dropped my big flashlight But it really didn't matter I was hurtin' so bad, I couldn't see And on my hands and knees, I couldn't stand up And I couldn't turn around, so I had to back up But I couldn't see or remember which way That I had come in from And I took a wrong turn and the grade got steep And then me and the cat dropped 30 feet And most of those bees followed us down To that sewage treatment pond You've heard of steppin' in it, friends? Heh, heh, I was up to my clavicle Lord, have mercy on me Save a place in Heaven for me 'Cause all of my strength is nearly gone Yeah, those bees are stingin' and the cat can't swim And I can't get away from either one of them I think it's time you intervene, Lord And call somebody home Then my buddies found me and pulled me free And, friends, I looked like a Christmas tree And they sprayed the bees And gave the lady back her cat And I went home and showered 14 times Got bandaged up and I did just fine But in all my life, I've never hurt so bad Or smelled quite like that And I can remember prayin' Lord, have mercy on me Save a place in Heaven for me 'Cause we're running outta room in this drainage pipe Yeah, the cat and the bees don't need no help They're doin' just fine right by theirselves But anything you can do for me, Lord I'd sure be much obliged Anything you can do for me, Lord I'd sure be much obliged
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