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Legends Of Zelda: Tales Of The Wind Waker
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LINK: I've sailed the seas On the breath of the ocean breeze! Battled some flaming Keese Fought my way through the Tower of Gods! Met the Fairy Queen A fat little man in green! Rode the winds through the sky... Fed a fish-man guy! Won tons of rupees! PATRON: Hey Zelda! LINK: It's Link PATRON: Tell us about that one time you found the Wand of Gamelon LINK: I don't know what you're talking about I smashed a thousand pots! And fired some cannon shots! I thwarted all Ganon's plots! Just using a sword and a wand! (YEAH!) Made a Rito friend! While tugging Valoo's rear end! Learned a sword-spin technique! Found a boat that speaks And turns into a- PATRON: It's the dread pirate Tetra!!! TETRA: Milkshake. ...What are you looking at, Fairy Boy? LINK: (quiet) Well exCUSE ME, princess... GILLIAN: Miss Tetra, how has your expedition been going? TETRA: We set sail for Greatfish Isle But were caught inside a storm! Where a giant squid attacked us And forced our ship ashore! We stole bombs for all our cannons! Then set out into the sea! Where a thousand sharks were waiting- Which we blew to smithereens! We were caught inside a cyclone! But we managed to get free! We pulled up a hefty treasure With a Piece of Heart or Three! Then we stumbled on a Ghost Ship (Hoo! Ha!) Based on phases of the moon! (Hoo! Ha!) When we ravaged all it had, its hulls (Hoo! Ha!) Were full of gold doubloons! (Hoo! Ha!) LINK: Oh, weird. All I found in it was a treasure chart PATRON: Hooray for Zelda! TETRA AND LINK: It's Link! GILLIAN: Why, Mister Ganondorf. You look like you're having a pretty... average day... GANONDORF: I'll take one of everything. (pointing) On that guy's tab GILLIAN: What's bothering you, G? GANONDORF: I've got Forty guys dead And I don't know Why- All my treasures are gone- All my plans are awry! Someone messed up my bird- All these girls have gone free And there's a snotty green twerp- LINK: Hey, you looking' for ME? GANONDORF: WHAT THE- PATRON: GO ZELDA! ALL: IT'S "LINK!" I took my sister back! I need her pointy ears! You took her by mistake! HEY, IT'S BEEN A HUNDRED YEARS! ...Sheesh, get with the times... Go ride your stupid boat! Go change into a pig! Go slash a dozen Cuccos! Shave your beard! Ride some birds! Bleach your skin! Learn some words! Just prepare for owning! The wind is blowing... NOW...!
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