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Heartbeat
by
Mistah F.a.b.
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Noah, what up? This fire Project poetry from my project steps We sat bare-faced, sittin' on the staircase No love, no respect when talkin' to fiends in their face No love, no respect with no lawyer, he ain't get a fair case Project dreamin', tryna see somethin' else Motivated by the pain, just wanna be somethin' else Had to fend for ourselves, mama distracted by addictions And like the mama from Muppet Babies' face, daddy was missin' It was bad for our health, but Top Ramen saved lives Cancer ate mom alive, it got to like stage five And I know it's only four stages, God ain't showin' no favors Jesus died for our sins, but even dude won't save us Slapboxin' with Satan, that's how I got hot hands Prayin' and I'm cryin' like, "Damn, God, stop, man" First daddy died, granny died, then mama passed Got me lookin' to the heavens, how long will this drama last? So much drama in my life, could pass a drama class But this my real life, it's not a drama act So much pain in my heartbeat The pain so deep, it make my heart weak I just had to let my heart speak Listen, hear my heartbeat Hear my heartbeat I just had to let my heart speak This that pain, you can feel it in the soul This the shoe music, niggas could feel it in the hole My auntie smoked crack out a Pepsi can I was young on the ice like Gretzky, man Stayin' out of trouble, I don't need no more arm My daddy tied belts around his forearm And when the vein popped out, the pain popped out I had to run game to my own brain like he ain't hopped out But he a junkie, a junkie is what a junkie does And he don't wanna stop gettin' high and f*ckin' up My cousin said, "At least you had a daddy when you was comin' up My daddy stayed down the street, and he don't even f*ck with us" I got a letter from my brother that said, "What's up with Blood? Could you JPay a nigga just a couple bucks? Just the other day, I heard my youngin' caught a couple slugs Shit don't never stop, goddamn, what the f*ck is up? So much pain in my heartbeat The pain so deep, it make my heart weak I just had to let my heart speak Listen, hear my heartbeat Hear my heartbeat I just had to let my heart speak The money can't fix the problems A fool on the search for a war, tryna pick a squabble A wino at the front of the store just tryna get a swallow Sit his liquor in front of his foot, then he kicked the bottle Me, I had to kick the cup 'cause I had my kidneys f*cked Knew I was gettin' out of shape when I had to ask for help to pick me up Lost, tryna find a way Enough money in the bank to buy five Rollies, but still can't find the time of day Tryna find some time to pray My Muslim homie took his Shahada, now he pray five times a day Gotta stay off the corner, that's what the honor say I'm just prayin' that my daughter make the honor roll She my lil' angel for two reasons, I promise, yo One for givin' me a purpose, two, she got my mama soul I miss the days me and mama played dominoes Told her I'ma follow my dreams 'til it's my time to go So much pain in my heartbeat The pain so deep, it make my heart weak I just had to let my heart speak Listen, hear my heartbeat Hear my heartbeat I just had to let my heart speak
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