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Autophobia
by
King Iso
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And as far as history agrees, I ain't a person So here's my letter, dear Willie Lynch I can't reverse it And worth is when it get to me indeed to make a purchase That's why my social's what it is and what my date of birth is People telling people find yourself and they been searching Blind go to blind and seek for sight and paid for service And work to stay above water but this ain't the surface That's what I bought that Fo' for and get on some Dave and Purp shit I've been smoking purp and hang with perps that came to merk shit They went from hanging us on trees to courts, we ain't alerted To make it out you gotta sell your soul or slang your work kid Man they've been sellin' niggas way before we made our verses You wonder why I'm cutting up, so what I ain't a surgeon My brain been sick as f*ck I bet I'm stuck to dating nurses I'll tell a critic suck a dick until it makes the thirst quench While you was popping percs man I was out here taking purses But that's what happens when you lose yourself like Shady, certain And now they force you meds don't matter if you ain't allergic And discharge you early so you break and can't refurbish And make you stay with someone til' they say you make em' nervous Petition you then distribute your cash, you can't be workin' Position you for ridicule you're mad and hate the churches Suicidal tendencies that get to you there ain't a purpose This is a Cold War dividing you you'd think I came from Berlin Perfect! Revelations got my brain just burstin' I was right there with Eve and yelling, "Thank you Serpent!" Because I lust for knowledge and a queen, I ain't deserving And Satan lurks the internet so watch what page you surfing To rid your curse like it's derogatory language lurking I need a pat on the back my nigga like, babies burpin' My soul was separated at birth, Katie Leclerc shit I do it for the love I take self hate and convert it and tell em' [Hook] x4 Ignoring self and bliss, now euphoria In the mirror like I almost didn't notice ya But lately I've been fearing I've been loathing But where I'm from we call that autophobia Tried to drop jewels on my homies til' they were in steel But all they want is diamonds on they pendant; is that shit real Then I look in the mirror for a minute, then I sit still And realize this is exactly how I'ma get killed My self love made me get on, so what's the big deal Everybody treating me like I just signed a big deal It's like they don't want me to grow like I'm a kid still So when I pass away I'll try to leave more than a big wheel So I grip steel and a paranoid banana clips will get peeled Anxiety; can't sit still Mr. Hank, get it, shit's real My senders gone I'm sick still Don't say shit my lips sealed I'm too broke to fix meals my son wants a kids meal Won't flip out, my bitch will A cold world, no windshield I crashed my whip the other day almost flew through the windshield I spit ill and got preyed on, they never did kneel And now I'm taking flicks on the net, touring, forget chill Man they gonna f*ck around and sign my ass for ten mill And I'ma blow it all on drugs I love how Sid feels And if not record execs are getting windmilled The kid still lives as vicious as what Sid feels I never had self love to know how this shit feels I hope I get married nah really I hope my chick will Because I'm a piece of shit and she know, prolly' is pissed still And one day she'll kill me and get sent up to Litchfield Like adios amigos, it's been real This is not music nigga it's film This career ain't working out but there's a big field I'm about to walk through the traffic and hope the bitch yield This pen is my sword and the paper is shield And til' the pickle suit I never was a big deal I love this rap shit but sometimes wanna quit still And I will never sell out, but this disc will And tell em' [Hook] x6 Ignoring self and bliss, now euphoria In the mirror like I almost didn't notice ya But lately I've been fearing I've been loathing But where I'm from we call that autophobia
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