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Father
by
Hobo Johnson
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Lyrics
Hi, uh, what's up? Uh, my name's Frank, Hobo Johnson. I hope you like this song. I made it up for my dad. It's for you, Dad! Hey! My dad taught me 'bout The story 'bout the birds and the bees When the bees turn into wasps and take half of everything He sounded sure, that a bird doesn't need a full nest But a bed for our bird heads to rest He told me son you'll never dunk (WHAT?) Its family tradition basketball is not for us Our legs just aren't that springy My great-great-uncle almost did but he didn't He told me son beware, of the monsters That roam the depths of your head Sometimes they'll make you real sad or Or real, real mad, or real, real jealous and That's real, real bad, boy breathe Nicotine until you fall asleep like all of our family Breathe! Nicotine until you fall asleep Like, all of our family, like all of our family I'm the new Will Smith, I'm I'm, Will Smith mixed with Michael Cera I'm Will Smith, Michael Cera Kevin Spacey, Michael Cera man My father's married to a shape-shifting monster Who can sometimes take the form Of a really really really nice woman And although it seems super f*cking frightening Sometimes this scary monster makes A really really great vanilla pudding, he has courage But sometimes your courage isn't quite the kryptonite As the monster runs rampant through the house Sometimes your courage makes you feel strong But it seems as if the monster eats your muscles all along f*cking pickin' out your self-respect right out its scary teeth Her breath smells like pride of self And other men she used to meet And the monster doesn't sleep It just schemes and fiends On the next tasty meal it gets to eat It gets to eat It gets to eat I'm the new Will Smith I'm mixed with Kevin Spacey I'm the new Will Smith Kevin Spacey Michael Cera, man Oh (What the f*ck?) (oh) (W-w-what the f*ck?) (oh) What the f*ck? Oh [Screaming]
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