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David Wainwright’s Feet
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Half Man Half Biscuit
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Peter’s on his skateboard Ryan’s on his bike Steven’s over there with his older brother Mike Robert’s gone to Snowdon, leaving me to muse Measurement paramount when choosing boots and shoes Corns and blisters Bunions and warts David Wainwright’s all out of sorts Laura Morgan skips down the street Laura Morgan cares for her feet I remember clearly how it all began I was in the precinct, shopping with my Nan Saw the latest trainers and pestered like a fly They didn’t have my size but I still got them and that’s why Corns and blisters Bunions and warts David Wainwright’s all out of sorts Laura Morgan skips down the street Laura Morgan cares for her feet Hammer toe horrendous, wincing with the pain Told-you-so chiropodist telling me again “Treat your feet with kindness, treat them with respect” And even though he stinks of gin, I know that he’s correct
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