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Saint Patrick vs. The Pied Piper
by
Freshy Kanal
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Lyrics
Broke out the chains Now I'm holier than Rome is You send those weans home Before I phone me homie Moses Promised them a Candyland But had them working back in Berlin Said your purpose was to purge the rats But who's the real vermin? The town heard the piper and demanded he stop They banned music cause you only play the shammiest rock And now there ain't no drumming so they don't get reminded But you'll face repercussions when you feck with the Irish Chast**y's the only vow that you respect, buddy There's no four leafed clovers that could help you get lucky I'll treat this like chess, you're the crappiest piece Cuz when I cross a Bishop, then he will die agonally Skip the sermon Between the pack of rats I travel with and sickly verses I'm wreaking havoc On your town, they'll gather sticks for purging Play magic bound to snatch up every kid who heard it Hear me roast you with my flute like "Yo this witch is burning!" Such a greedy priest Exploited the ma**'s beliefs Charged for baptisms No wonder you're so attracted to green You may have escaped prison but you can't trick the Saxons Stop dangling your sack like Saint Nick and do your taxes! I show kids the lord, you lure and enslave them Guess I didn't vanquish every snake from the Mainland... Strolled up looking like a peac*ck to the Hamelin crowd Motherf**ker had the blind kids ratting him out Your Ratatouille bullsh*te was just a bloomin' rumor Your piping's so sh*te, the rats would sooner choose the sewers! Like me master's home, your story's been reduced to embers Cuz you're the only Brothers Grimm tale no one remembers You prayed everyday to be cut loose from your sin's ways And now your name's engraved as an excuse to get sh*tfaced And this day is a disgrace to your promise Cuz Saint Patrick bars turn fathers to alcoholics You escaped slavery, rose to the top of the system Then this dude said "F**k it!, I'll just colonize the victims!" Converted the Celtic culture and now you preach to the choir So take your t**hes, but this time, the church is playing the Piper
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