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Hymn to Him
by
Frederick Loewe
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Lyrics
Women are irrational, that's all there is to that There heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags They're nothing but exasperating, irritating Vacillating, calculating, agitating Maddening and infuriating hags Figuring, why can't a woman be more like a man? Why can't a woman be more like a man? Men are so honest, so thoroughly square Eternally noble, historically fair Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat Well, why can't a woman be like that? Why does everyone do what the others do? Can't a woman learn to use her head? Why do they do evеrything their mothers do? Why don't they grow up likе their father instead? Why can't a woman take after a man? Men are so pleasant, so easy to please Whenever you are with them, they're always at ease Now would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours? Of course not Would you be livid if I had a drink or two? Nonsense Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers? Never Well, why can't a woman be like you? One man in a million may shout a bit Now and then there's one with slight defects One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit But by and large we are a marvelous sex Why can't a woman behave like a man? Men are so friendly, good natured and kind A better companion you never will find If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow? Of course not If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss? Nonsense Would you complain if I took out another fellow? Never Well, why can't a woman be like us? Madam, why can't a woman be more like a man? Men are so decent, such regular chaps Ready to help you through any mishaps Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum Why can't a woman be a chum? Why is thinking something women never do? Why is logic never even tried? Straightening up their hair is all they ever do Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside? Why can't a woman be more like a man? If I was a woman who'd been to a ball Been hailed as a princess by one and by all Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing? Carry on as if my home were in a tree? Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going? Why can't a woman be like me?
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