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Old Sea Captain
by
Bo Burnham
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Ye old sea captain. You know, briny breath, one squinting eye, chewing a waterlogged pipe, squatting on dock post. A bearded cauldron blabbering bullsh*t, crashing through anecdotes like a radio dial through waves of white noise. Living legend, he is. A great American archetype. So grab your digital cameras you yuppie f**ks.
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