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Microwave Popcorn
by
Bo Burnham
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Lyrics
Could you turn my headphones? Turn up my head--or I'm the only one in here, so, I'm gonna turn up my own headphones For myself, thank you, you're welcome Tryna make microwave popcorn In a microwave I am on that wave I am on that wave Tryna make microwave popcorn I take the packet out the plastic (Takin' out the plastic, brrt) Reading the directions on the back of the package (Ooh) Orville Redenbacher, you're a savage (You a savage) So let's get crackin' (Tryna make microwave, ayy) I put the packet on the glass (What glass?) The little glass dish in the microwave (Got it) I close the door (Which door?) The door to the microwave! What is wrong with you?! You follow all the rules when you're a studious guy (Step one) Insert the packet, set the power to high Cook for one and a half minutes to two and a half minutes (Mm, kind of a wide range) Tryna make microwave popcorn (Bippity bippity bop) In a microwave (Brrt) I am on that wave I am on that wave Tryna make microwave popcorn The popcorn's done (Thank God!) I open up the door, I take it out Ooh, ah, chhh, goddamn, that's hot (Super hot!) Makes sense (I burnt my fingies) I open up the packet (The packet) It smells smoky and the kernels are black, shit (No!) I burned it (No!), I burned it (For real?) Yes, for real-- Do you think you're helping by saying all this? (Tryna make microwave) I'm givin' up (I'm done cookin' popcorn) I'ma eat a bag of Skinny Pop (It's already popped!) I look back at the microwave, wait a minute How'd I miss this button? There's a button and the button says "Popcorn" (Oh, no!) On the microwave (There was a button that said popcorn?!) I am on that wave I am on that wave (I shoulda hit that button) (Brrt) Tryna make microwave popcorn (Tryna, make, micro, wave) (Bippity bippity bop) (Jiffy Pop) In a microwave (Guys, stop) (Tryna, make, micro, wave) (Agh, got a kernel in my throat, aghhh) (Brrt) I am on that wave (Guys, get off--) (Tryna, make, micro, wave) (Brrt, brrt) I am on that wave (Everyone's talking at the same time; can everyone just shut— Shut— Shut up!) (...Christmas ornaments) (Movie theater butter) Tryna make microwave popcorn
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