Correction Lyrics Honest Retro TV Themes! by Natasha Bedingfield

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Lyrics

(shows Andy Signore, Dan Murrell, and Spencer Gilbert on their laptops)

Andy Signore: Guys, we're nominated for an Emmy again for Honest Trailers! Awesome!

Dan Murrell: I mean, that's great; but we lost the Emmy last year, so how do you think we're actually gonna get attention this time?

Spencer Gilbert: Maybe we could do, like, a fun TV intro -- like, honest theme songs for some of the nominees?

Andy Signore: I like that idea, but we'd need someone legendary and, like, more epic to help us pull that off.

Michael Bolton: Can I help?

Andy Signore, Dan Murrell, Spencer Gilbert: Michael Bolton?!

Michael Bolton: I got some great singers who are friends of mine, and I think they'll come in and they'll help us win this Emmy.

Spencer Gilbert: That'd be great.

Dan Murrell: Yeah!

Michael Bolton: Let's do it.

Stranger Things

Perfect Strangers-style titles for Stranger Things. Title design by Robert Holtby.

(shows Natasha Bedingfield in a recording studio)

Voice Over: Stranger Things, Natasha Bedingfield, take one.

(sung to the tune of "Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now")

Natasha Bedingfield: Something strange is happening/Here in Hawkins town;/Everything is turning/Upside-down!/Our Will may be gone,/But our friendship’s still strong;/So turn this town up to Eleven/And ride all night long!/Stranger Things/Are keeping our lights shining./Stranger Things;/These moments are defining!/No matter how hard we push and crawl,/Stranger Things are inside us all.

This Is Us

Cheers-style titles for This is Us. Title design by Robert Holtby.

(shows Brian McKnight seated at a piano)

Voice Over: Uh, Brian McKnight, This Is Us, recording.

Brian McKnight: (sung to the opening of "Where Everybody Knows Your Name") Our lives cross in many ways;/And sometimes, they’re sad,/Like losing a triplet/Or your adopted dad./What if your Mom lied to you your entire life?/That’s a lot of strife!/(sung to the refrain of "This Is It") (This Is Us!)/We’re not cutting onions in here!/(This Is Us!)/You’ll be crying buckets of tears!/(This Is Us!)/Just accept the end is near/(This Is Us!)/(sung to the ending of "Without Us") And someday, we’ll all die./Sha-na-na-naaaaa.

Credits
Starring Milo Ventimiglia (as Jack Pearson), Chrissy Metz (as Kate Pearson), Justin Hartley (as Kevin Pearson), Mandy Moore (as Rebecca Pearson), Ron Cephas Jones (as William Hill), Sterling K. Brown (as Randall Pearson), and Mandy Moore in Old Age Makeup (shows an older Rebecca).

From the Twisted Mind of Dan Fogelman.

The Handmaid's Tale

Dawson's Creek-style titles for The Handmaid's Tale. Title design by Robert Holtby.

(shows Paula Cole at a microphone)

Voice Over: Handmaid's Tale, Paula Cole, you're up.

(sung to the tune of "I Don't Want to Wait")

Paula Cole: Waking up in my small bed,/Putting on my white and reds./Life is good if you’re a male;/It’s just another Handmaid’s Tale./I don’t want to wait/For the men to take over;/I have worth, not just to give birth./I don’t want to wait/For the guys to take over./Let the Eyes all see/As we smash/The patriarchy./Doo doo doo doo,/Doo doo doo doo,/Doo doo doo doo, doo-oo-ooooo.

Credits
Elisabeth Moss (as June Osborne/Offred), Joseph Fiennes (as Fred Waterford), Yvonne Strahovski (as Serena Joy Waterford), Madeline Brewer (as Janine/Ofwarren), Max Minghella (as Nick Blaine).

Game of Thrones

House Bolton represents in this parody of 1990's TV theme songs. (Image shows Michael Bolton wearing a fur cloak, with a sword raised in a snowy recording studio)

Andy Signore: Man, those were great! But, Michael, I wanna hear you do one.

Michael Bolton: I wanna tackle my favorite show, Game of Thrones.

Andy Signore: Aw, yeah.

Dan Murrell: But, Michael, Game of Thrones isn't eligible for Emmys this year.

Michael Bolton: House Bolton does what it wants.

Andy Signore: F*ck yeah, it does.

(shows Michael Bolton in a recording studio)

Michael Bolton: (sung in the style of a power ballad) Our love burned like wildfire/Until you blew it out./Now, my watch is ended;/The kingdoms are in doubt./Winter is coming;/There’s a wall around my heart!/I’m a wolf in dragon’s clothing,/And it’s tearing me apart!/I see it in the flames!/Get ready for my reign!/Our love is not a Game,/A Game of Thrones!/(Shame! Shame! Shame! Shame! Shame!)/Our love is not a Game of Thrones!/(Shame! Shame! Shame!)/Hodor, Hodor,/Hold the door to my,/Hold the door to my heart!/(Shame! Shame! Shame! Shame!)/So many names!/Too many names in the Game of Thrones!/(Shame! Shame!)/Shame on your Game of Thrones! (whispered) You know nothing.

Credits
Lena Headey (as Cersei Lannister); Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (as Jaime Lannister); Kit Harrington (as Jon Snow); Peter Dinklage (as Tyrion Lannister); Kristofer Hivju (as Tormund Giantsbane); Gwendoline Christie (as Brienne of Tarth); Maisie Williams (as Arya Stark); Emilia Clarke (as Daenerys Targaryan); Rory McCann (as Sandor Clegane); Sophie Turner (as Sansa Stark); with Aiden Gillen as Littlefinger (Petyr Baelish); Conleth Hill as Lord Varys; Liam Cunningham as Davos Seaworth; Alfie Allen as Theon Greyjoy; John Bradley as Samwell Tarly; and Isaac Hempstead Wright as Bran Stark as the Three-Eyed Raven; with Jerome Flynn (as Bronn); Don't Forget Iain Glen (as Jorah Mormont); and Also Bella Ramsey (as Lyanna Mormont); Also Also Nathalie Emmanuel (as Missandei); Also Also Also Jacob Anderson (as Grey Worm); Seriously, Too Many Names - Carice Van Houten (as Melisandre); and Ed Sheeran as Himself (Ed Sheeran as Lannister Soldier).

Created by (David) Benioff & (D. B.) Weiss.

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